Sing a song for California

1. I always wish I learnt how to cook. It's one of two things I've always felt like I'm completely hopeless at (the other is dancing). I'm always eating but I am terrible in the kitchen heh. Even during those times in sec4 when T, L and I would cook at T's house, it was more like T and L would do all the cooking and I would just be standing there passing them things, chopping something or getting distracted and randomly breaking out into song.

2. Sometimes, it feels like I'm holding on to too many things at once, and I know I have to let some go but I can't, and I try and clutch onto something that's already vanished into thin air. It's a really horrible feeling, and it scares me how easily they disappear. :( I know you don't understand what I'm talking about haha nevermind.

3. Not feeling very good now because I was reading Band On The Run by chooseitwisely on wattpad, and whoaaa, it is way too intense. It's the sequel to Just What I Needed, which is basically about this girl called Keely Staub who becomes a rock singer and falls for her producer Seth Vaughn. It's a pretty sweet story so I was not expecting the sequel to be this depressing at all :( it's like a 'seven years down the road' kinda thing, and a lot of shit happened during that time which involved drugs, a terrible band breakup and Keely becoming a changed person omgahhh I felt so heartbroken for Keely, and I'm only at chapter 5.

Things look really really screwed-up and I have no idea how chooseitwisely is going to bring Seth back into the picture (I'm saying it like that because I trust that she will, if she doesn't I am going to be so so mad) so yeah :( the stories I read on wattpad really affect me a lot! Especially this one since I know leading lives like Keely's and Seth's are commonplace for a lot of musicians so it's not all completely fiction.

4. If you haven't already seen my tweets, My Chemical Romance is back (haha ok you can roll your eyes and skip to the next point it's ok) with a new album called Conventional Weapons which will be 'released' two songs at a time. The releases will span from this month to february next year, two for every month.

It's painful news for me and, I believe, hordes and hordes of other MCR fans, because I desperately want a full-album copy, not a max of two songs at a go PLUS in vinyl which I know is expensive, are they trying to kill us or something?

But anyway, the first two tracks have been released. They're called Tomorrow's Money and Boy Division. Going to be really honest here and say I think they sound too... normal. I love this band to bits (lost count how many times I've said something like that) and all they've ever produced was briliance so I'm slightly disappointed with the new songs this time.

It was the exact same feeling I got as when I first listened to Danger Days; disappointment, and feeling like they could've done better. Maybe I'm just setting my expectations too high, but I feel like a band that produced out-of-this-world albums like Three Cheers and The Black Parade is surely capable of more.

Plus they said the new album would be a mix of Danger Days and Three Cheers, but I feel like the new songs are more like Danger Days than Three Cheers. Oh well, we'll see about the rest. Can't judge just yet. And who knows, maybe the songs will grow on me :)

5. Today was spent rotting away :/ I took my Ernest Hemingway to starbucks with me after lunch thinking I'd spend the afternoon there, but the book turned out kind of difficult to understand. There were random french words, and all these names of places in Paris, though I don't know why I'm so surprised seeing as the book is supposed to be about Hemingway's time in Paris haha. The way the book is written is pretty interesting though, Hemingway really has a way with words. No wonder he's one of the most acclaimed literary writers of his generation.

6. So I left starbucks early, and brought my half-drunk mocha frap home with me. It was wayyyy too sweet. Gah. So I added a load of my favourite Greenfield milk to it at home. Tasted so much better after that.

7. I got Collide With The Sky already :) I also decided to do a little math, and it turns out I have spent at least $300 on band merch. Albums, t-shirts, badges. My gawwwd. 300 bucks! That's scary hahaha.

8. My favourite song right now is probably Disasterology by Pierce The Veil.

9. I have an OP script to re-write. :(

10. Should I continue reading Band On The Run? Ok I think I'm going to. Hopefully Seth comes back soon and their relationship becomes less screwed-up pleaseplease I want them to end up together!! :(

BYE

~

How does it feel like? Well, it feels like fire

I kissed the scars on her skin
I still think you're beautiful and I don't ever wanna lose my best friend
I screamed out, God, you vulture
Bring her back or take me with her


Currently on the train to somerset buy Collide With The Sky!!! It was an extremely impromptu decision, initially I was on my way home from tampines after me and Shijia were window-shopping there when our OP training in school ended.

Then as I neared simei I was thinking, so I'll be going home and then deciding whether or not to go to somerset for my album or to go to the starbucks at simei with my Ernest Hemingway novel, then like.

But I really wanna get my albummm. And I thought, well I'm on the train going in town direction, so why not? Haha.

So I'm listening to Collide With The Sky now as I'm travelling to get Collide With The Sky.

Still in my uniform but it's comfortable anyway even though the weather has been terribleeee. Feels like Battery City already.

BYE

~

There's a story at the bottom of this bottle and I'm the pen

Just gonna get straight to the point haha. My results:

Econs: C
Chem: C
Math: E
Physics: B
GP: B

Today was pretty much a rollercoaster ride. The night before, my pw group was talking on whatsapp and Shijia was saying: "a lot of people are gonna cry." and Huiyi replied with "I bring tissue" HAHAH

And this girl seriously brought three packets of tissue (Shijia and I happened to ransack her bag this morning) and even gave one to Zongren before we got back our econs paper LOLOL.

The first paper we got back was math. It was seriously a mood-downer, I was pretty depressed for a while after that. I expected a lot better especially after all the hard work I put in mugging for math.

Was entertaining all sorts of negative thoughts like maybe I'm just not smart enough because I tried my best and this is what I got, and was also dreaming about quitting and going to poly because poly kids seem to be having it so much easier than we are.

I was also upset with my C for chem because I expected at least a B, and 30% of the cohort got As and Bs, which means I'm not in the top 30% of the cohort UGH :( plus chem is the only subject I have tuition for. Damnit.

Got our physics paper after the break, was content with my B I guess. Huiyi got an A!!! Smart girl!! Proud of her 😘 It was hilarious, when she received her paper she actually screamed and started jumping around and yelling in the lecture theatre, not exaggerating at all HAHA

I'm probably the happiest with my B for GP, because I was not expecting it at all! The compre was sooo tough but I managed it even though I got one mark for my aq LOL and I was so sure I was gonna flunk my essay like I did for all the class practice essays our gp tutor has been giving us. Thankful for ms. khaliesah, she really is a good tutor.

Econs was average, I'm sad that I failed my case study section though :(

There's a few things I'd like to say to my class 12S16, even though I know you guys probably don't read my blog, but then it makes me feel more at ease typing all this haha.

Each and every one of you is an amazing person, not flawless, but awesome nonetheless. You're generally a lovely bunch of people, kind, friendly and very willing to help, that's what I love about this class.

What you need to know is that grades do not determine the places you go in life. As much as we have been brainwashed into believing so, it is most certaintly not true.

It's clear how you all work hard towards achieving better results, and even if you didn't get the kind of results you aimed for this time, please don't give up, don't be discouraged.

The scores are not finalised, so it's not over yet. Plus even if you didn't manage to promote, think of it as another chance to work even harder. In fact, given the extra one year, I'm sure you can do even better than some of your peers who only have two years to cram in everything they've learnt.

Take the opportunity to revise everything you've learnt this year and build up a good foundation before you move on.

Character is just as important as academics. You can have the most brilliant mind out of anyone else you know, but if you're an asshole, no one's going to want to mix around with you.

People may pretend to like you, but they don't, and you'll wind up having no friends, going through a lot of conflict, and in the end you'll just be unhappy.

So be proud of who you are. Don't give up on yourself because of your promo grades; work harder, because it is the getting there that matters.

~

I heard the train shake the windows, you screamed over the sound

If I were you, I'd put that away
See you're just wasted
And thinking about the past again
Darling, you'll be okay

And she said
"If you were me, you'd do the same
Cause I can't take anymore
I'll draw the shades and close the door
Everything's not alright
And I would rather."


Currently going through a Pierce The Veil phase. What an amazing band

Yesterday was another pw day again. After school me and Shijia went to roam around tamp1 and it was so funny hahahah halfway down the escalator after coming out from Daiso she suddenly gasped really loud and turned to me horrified

And she was holding up some body scrub thing that we were looking at earlier but she decided not to get it in the end HAHAHA and she forgot that she was holding it and just walked out.

I laughing till my tummy ached HAHAHA and she kept telling me to stop it all the way back as we went back up to quietly put the thing back at Daiso LOL.

We also got gongcha before that. We wanted to try something new so we both got gongcha alisan tea or something like that. Gahhhhh next time I'm just sticking to the same old milk tea with herbal jelly or earl grey milk tea that I always buy.

It was yucky :( it tasted like cold chinese tea, and I'm definitely not a fan of the salty milk layer they put at the top.

I'm so glad tamp1 has a few proper shops haha so us East-side kids don't have to feel that deprived anymore.

Oh and I saw this really really nice long-sleeved top at Topshop! (picture below) But it's like $69 damnit :( I was gonna console myself by saying ah it's prolly too thick to wear in singapore anyway, then I touched the material and was like, shit it's pretty thin.

And it's good for wearing to the airport or something next year too to study :'( oh well.

We went home after that and I made a video for me and Shijia's impromptu cover of Price Tag using pictures of us :) it's on my youtube channel now soooo. If you know it please go view it heh heh. I'm still considering if I should let people know my youtube channel hmmm.

Dinner was with Jiams wums at Ikea. We went around testing beds and bouncing up and down on them and took a couple of lame videos of ourselves and got glared at by a few random people :'( We also stalked a random young malay couple around Ikea, it was fun although we lost them three times and gave up trying to find them the third time.

Truly the epitome of 吃饱没事做.

Today is such a wasted day :( in my previous post I mentioned wanting to go all out the remaining few days before Judgement Day, but it's 3pm on a saturday afternoon and I'm just wasting away at home.

Actually, I asked L out earlier but cancelled because I had a stomachache and momentarily lost the mood to go out and the sky was dark and I thought it was gonna rain but It's all sunny and birds-chirping now -__-

Ohwell. Off to play guitar

BYE

~

They can take all of me, but they won't ever take what I still believe

I just randomly remembered those few frantic days after results day when Lynchua and I were calling each other and anxiously debating over whether to go to tpjc or to pursue creative writing in sp.

And we both wanted so badly to go to the same school and were weighing ll the pros and cons of jc and poly and I still remember her telling me on the phone, "I'm scared! Everyone in poly has like 365 sets of clothes, and then there's me!"

Hahaha it was so funny. And even though we didn't pick the same school in the end, I know it's all still good because we're both happy with where we are right now. Lynchua, if you're reading this, I hope you know that I miss you lots!! :(

I'm so jelly though, it looks as though everyone in poly is having way more fun and even doing way better in academics than us jc kids are. All my friends in poly are doing well, and it doesn't help that most of them are taking courses that I wanted to enter, like mass comm and creative writing :(

I know I prolly sound like a geek ahaha but honestly, my passion for writing is second to none but music. If I don't go into music or writing in the future, I really, really don't know what I'd become. Would most likely end up a wastrel haha.

So anyway. How's life? The past two weeks since promos ended have been spent mainly chionging pw and catching up with friends.

Everyone hates pw, it seems, but I'm actually quite fine with it. It's better than being stuck in a classroom, right? I'm just nervous for OP, since OP is all about the way you carry yourself, the way you speak and your level of confidence. Kinda scary!

On a side note, I'm really, really glad that I've been blessed with a pw group as hardworking and cooperative as mine. Sometimes I even feel like a bit of slacker in the group hahah.

And also, I'm really, really happy that my favourite girls are in the same pw group as I. Each group in 12S16 has 5 members- 3 girls and 2 guys, and it just so happened that I was lucky enough to get both of my minions in my group!! Sigh <3

Today's was a little slack, my group left around 2.30pm and I went home and had a kaya waffle and chocolate milk yummm. Simple pleasures in life! Then I watched Wild Child :)

I think I can safely conclude that Alex Pettyfer really isn't much of an actor, although he is very pretty. And Emma Roberts is gorgeous sigh. She rocked being both a blonde and a brunette! I bet she could easily pull off red hair and black hair as well.

Andandand I cried like a baby when her dad came and saw her playing lacrosse in the end :') I always cry at that part!

I love chick flicks haha. I want to re-watch Prom, A Cinderella Story, John Tucker Must Die and It's A Boy Girl Thing as well but funshion doesn't have any of those, aw.

Alright off to find another movie to watch heh heh. Today was a good day :) I am determined to enjoy myself as much as I can until our promo results get released on the 22nd!

BYE

~

I'd much rather have a quiet, withdrawn brother, or even a physically or mentally handicapped brother than a brother who is violent, who is bad-tempered and foul-mouthed, who spends beyond his means, who gives his parents' money to his fair-weather friends, who curses his parents and threatens to harm them.

But then again, God is fair. He's given me a healthy body, a strong mind, loving parents, amazing friends, a safe home, a stable life, and more than enough to eat and wear.

Maybe I should be content.

~

Don't stop if I fall, and don't look back

Listening to Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge and wondering how any album can be so perfect. Really. Words cannot describe my love for My Chemical Romance.

Kinda lazy to type everything I want to say and to link everything together, so here it goes in point form.

1. Did a couple of things I've been wanting to do post-promos. In fact, I have a post-promo list ahaha. I've written a bunch of lyrics on my cupboard, totals to about 40 songs. I spent two hours at night on it and when my mom came into my room in the morning she gasped and I thought I was in trouble and nervously asked, "Is it nice?" and she went "NICE!" hahaha

2. Sometimes I randomly get really really depressed and I don't even know why. Like October 3rd, which was the day before my math paper. It was terrible, I tell you. I woke up in the morning feeling completely fine but after that I went to study at a usual place at the airport and it was awful, I couldn't concentrate for no reason and I felt terrible and I had no appetite at all. I was really hungry but all I could stomach was an energy bar that I brought from home, and after that I just felt like puking. Gah. Then I decided I couldn't study anymore and took the train home instead. On the way back in the train my eyes started welling up and I just felt miserable and I think the guy opposite was giving me really weird looks. I wasn't even sick or anything. Man I hope I never have another day like that again :(

3. I feel unused to so much freedom all of a sudden, now that promos are over. But neither do I want to go back to studying just yet, like my mom keeps telling me to. I know two years will go by really quick but I feel like I'm running a race that will never end. Two years, and then what? This fear of the unknown is so annoying :/

4. There are a couple of old friends that I've been missing a lot lately and how I wish we could go back to the way things used to be, just me and you, coffee, laughter and late nights, but of course we can't. And what would be the point in trying to talk to you again? Because I know you aren't really there at all, that person that you once were is gone forever, and I don't recognise you anymore, I really don't. It makes me sad, wondering where that person went, and it's like a part of you died along with time, but at the same time I know there's no use moping about the past all the time, and we should look forward. So I'm over it.

5. Damn, I didn't mean for this post to turn out so bleak haha I'm sorry. I keep wanting to blog about a lot of things but I just forget everything the moment I start a new post D: Looking forward to this week though! Going out with my minions tomorrow! <3 an="an" and="and" exciting="exciting" going="going" i="i" jamming="jamming" lynchua="lynchua" m="m" most="most" nbsp="nbsp" out="out" p="p" post-promos="post-promos" probably="probably" tuesday="tuesday" wednesday="wednesday" week.="week." what="what" with="with" yayyy="yayyy">
I'm tired already, so I'm off to bed :)

BYE

~

I breathe you in with smoke in the backyard lights

This isn't fair, no don't you try to blame this on me
My love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me


PROMOS ARE OVER YEEEEEEHA.

Well that was how I felt on friday actually. When the teacher said to stop writing, and he was going around collecting the scripts and me and Asyraf exchanged PROMOS-ARE-OVER grins hahaha.

I couldn't stop smiling the whole time the teacher was going around and I think everyone was judging me and prolly thinking I was damn confident about the paper haha but actually I was just crazily happy that promos were over.

It's kinda weird to think that promos just ended yesterday because I actually feel like I've been slacking for forever already and it's time to get back to work.

After physics the 12S16 girls went to have korean bbq buffet together :)) they treated me and shuxuan because it was our birth month aww. Thanks girls! :)

It was kind of not very worth it because I'm definitely more of a veggie than a meat person, but it was still good plus I had fun heh :) we also did a bit of shopping at tamp1.

How I've missed shopping without having to feel guilty about not using the time to mug.

After that I went to play ball with the melons and had a good dinner at mos burgers with them :D

Today was shopping at town with Et. We went to peninsula, where I decided not to buy anymore band tees because I realised I've been wearing way too much black :'( as much as I love band tees I don't always want to be wearing black and sometimes white.

I saw nice tops at New Look but they were exp :( and then we went to Far East Plaza and I bought a dress (whoa surprise) and two band badges (yay Pierce The Veil and another Mayday Parade!!)

Actually, post-promos, I've been feeling just plain tired. Like now. And lack of sleep is a cranky zoey, sooo.

Good night!

BYE

~

And now the red ones make me fly, and the blue ones help me fall

So it's twenty minutes till my birthday ends.

Just wanna say a big THANK YOU to everyone who wished me and made my seventeenth so special and I love you all so so so muchhh!! Sigh I love birthdays, they make me feel more loved than I already am HAHA

But really though. I was gonna list out everyone who wished me but I'm way too tired and I've tuition tomorrow at 8.30am sooooo.

Big hugs!!! To my family, my best friends, my classmates, my bandmates, everyone :)

Thanks to the people who wished me at midnight, especially my bestie Asyraf for the 28 messages hahaha

Thanks to my #MINIONS (Huiyi & Shijia) for lunching with me at Aston's and for staying with me all the way till 3.30pm awww I laughed so hard hahahah love you bbys!! ❤ Let's promote together and go lepak after promos!! :))) and thank you for your cards hehe!

Thanks to my bandmates Charles, Jeromy and Darren for the Hold Me Down album by You Me At Six omg I swear I've been wanting that album for forever! Probably one of the best birthday gifts ever :')

Thanks to my girls (Christine Emily Kairong Lianne Tania in alphabetical order) for the surprise and the cake at airport hahaha so sweet of you all!! And for staying around to camwhore with my phone ahaha and just for being there! <3

OMG and thanks to Christine for the All Time Low pictures (not posters but idk what you call it ah but you can paste them on your walls) although I will probably never ever tack up that picture of All Time Low in their undies, unless I move out and get my own house haha I LOVE YOU my musical bestie, it's really true that probably no one else I know loves music the same way I do, so glad that I found you! <3

Last but definitely not least, thank you to #MELONS (Jiams, Dt, Et) for the roses and the rooftop surprise (it was really a surprise man, I got a shock when someone suddenly hugged me from behind out of nowhere) and the fun dinner and the totally unexpected cake and the unnecessarily loud birthday song at Sushi Tei. I love you all!!! #MELON4LIFE

haha oops it's 12.00am already. (happy Wall's Day to Dt and Pam omg hahaha very very old inside joke)

So good luck to everyone who's still having promos (me sigh) and congrats to everyone who's done!!

I have about slightly more than two days to mug hard and then I can finally lax!!!

This year has been a really great year, and my seventeeth was amazing, thanks to all of you guys.

Off to bed! xoxo

BYE

~