Heaven sent

 good day!!!!

can't believe i am back once more!!!

i guess alot has happened since my last post? to be concise lemme point form everything

1. i went back to work

nth much to say about this actlly, i went back, managed to clear the more impt emails in a day, and adjusted back to mundane office life. i definitely missed bernice and would spend time at lunch looking at her through our home cam. sad that i can't do that now that she's in ifc :( 

2. we finally moved back home with a baby in tow!

moving home was sort of chaotic, but also not? we managed to move back in 2 trips. kudos to sherwin for tanking all the heavy lifting! the painful part was probably unpacking everything until nighttime, after we put bernice to sleep. ended the night with prata and maggi goreng for supper.

it's been almost exactly 1 month since we moved back and it's been alright so far. the first week to maybe 2 weeks were definitely more tiring as we hadn't gotten down to a routine yet. but now everything is kind of clockwork. thankfully bernice adjusted well to ifc; i was so worried the first couple days that it was difficult to concentrate at work. cos it was her first time alone with all the unfamiliar faces.

3. we celebrated sherwin's birthday in sep, then my birthday in oct, then our anniversary in nov!!

turning a year older with a child now sure feels different. and can't believe i am 29 now haha SO OLDD. also bern is 7 months old now! her monthly "birthdays" definitely feel a lot more monumental than my own birthday, cos every month represents such significant developmental changes for babies. soon she'll be a year old omo!!

4. my mum retired!

it feels weird to me cos my mum used to be busy all the time especially growing up - she's worked all my life and she has an insane work ethic (unlike me?). i was never one of those kids that could call their super approachable mum during school hours to ask them to bring a forgotten file or homework to school, i think i would get a scolding if i tried such a thing. but now she's pretty much free all the time unless she wants to travel. that is.... a lot, of time. so many years of dedication to one thing and now it's all been replaced by nothingness. i guess it's kind of made me reflect on my own job/career and what it all means. still don't have the answer to this yet. and still wondering what to get her as a retirement gift!

5. also life these days has become very routine, with a baby there's always something to do plus the standard of cleanliness in our house needs to be higher now too. it feels like a second job and it's rough sometimes esp if bernice is not having a good day, but i definitely prefer it to DINK life. i think the one thing childrearing has provided that i needed/had been searching for for a while, is purpose. which is... a good thing i guess? haha. oh and with a baby now, the thing i worry most about is... what to FEED HER. i have been meal-prepping for myself but i don't think i make baby-appropriate food. now she's still on 2 meals a day but when she needs to start having dinners with us... man i will need to draw up meal plans. haha. oh well we will cross the bridge when we come to it.... 

okay i wanted to do an end-year recap as usual but i am super hungry now (and also lazy to continue typing) so i will end this post here

BYE 

and if you're reading this, HOW?? WHY are you still regularly checking up on this deadass blog?? haha

oh yeah and i wanted to say that today's weather/vibes is just amazing. it rained all day so the evening was super cool, there were bullfrogs croaking outside just now, and the stars were so visible and pretty today! rly reminded me of one stargazing night in canada. 

okay bye forreal!!

Like a river flows surely to the sea

 I AM BACKKK

my first blog post as a mother??? WILD

wow don't even know what to say about the past 4 months. yes, she turns 4 months in just 10 days! time kind of flies. i say kind of because i absolutely did not have fun the first month. but things got significantly better after she turned 2 months. 

my last day of work was... 26 Mar i think? decided to stay home after around 37 weeks so i didn't have to worry about popping at work. the last part of pregnancy was quite sian, woke up every day surprised i was still pregnant and not daring to venture outside too much in case i popped, and i was also physically perspiring buckets all the time even with the a/c on at night. 

i opted to get sliced open in the end as she went to 40 weeks with zero dilation or signs of labour. gynae mentioned her head was also in a suboptimal but still an okay position for labour. i appreciate that he still brought it to my attn cos he rly wanted me to get induced, but i was afraid of being in labour for hours and needing an emergency c-sec in the end, plus sherwin had a bz work week ahead and a c-sec would allow him to still be able to spend time with her before monday. 

checking in to tmc went quite smoothly, room was nice and big and clean. i wasn't really nervous until before the op when they got me dressed (or undressed?) and wheeled me in. op itself went quickly, and i fell asleep while they were stitching me up but started shivering from the anasthesia when i was back in my ward. 

so bb Bernice was finally born on 20.04.24 looking very nice and pink and screaming as she was forcefully evicted from her nice dark cozy home. coming in hot at 3.33kg and 51cm long, she was discharged after 2 days and fortunately only had mild jaundice which went away after less than 2 weeks. so far, she seems to have a nice calm temperament but she WILL scream for sleep...

my recovery went smoothly as it could. i was able to walk veryyy slowly carrying her out on my day of discharge and felt much better after 4 days, and probably around back to normal after 3-4 weeks. 

for lack of a better description i h8ed confinement. haha. altho my CN was chill about me leaving the house during confinement, i did not like the food, or having to live w a stranger. not to mention getting used to suddenly having and taking care of a fragile newborn baby. it's really round-the-clock care. 

fast forward to now and it's soooo much better. she's reacting and interacting with us and we can read her cries now. plus after they pack on the baby fat they don't look like aliens anymore, they're sooo cute and huggable!!! 

and it's true when you're in the thick of it that it feels like the end will never come. i felt like confinement passed soooooooo slowly, i was counting every single day and it felt like 4 weeks would never end. 

im also grateful to have had lots of help, after confinement we moved to my inlaws (i didn't want to, sherwin insisted, and anyway we had to move cos we don't have an infant care slot til november) and their helper has been quite a lifesaver with taking care of bern and i could leave house anytime i wanted without bringing bb along. mostly i stayed home tho, cos i miss her when im not with her and i know i won't be able to see her at all once i go back to work - and that's in less than 2 days omg. can't believe i'm going back to work..... 

there's definitely too many ppl in the hse tho haha although they play w her a lot sometimes i do think she looks like she could benefit from some alone time. and i as well 😬 now instead of counting confinement days i find myself counting the number of weeks til i'm back home. (currently it's 11 weeks hehe.)

okay gonna go back home (currently blogging from my old house) so i can see bb. and put her to sleep in like 3+ hours. babies go to sleep so early. gonna have like no time with her once i go back to work )):

next time i blog might be when i've moved back! haha BYE

Summer's never looked the same

 good day!!! 

currently 36 weeks preggie and feeling rather whale-ish. keep having to mind the tummy when im outside, especially in crowded places cos yknow how spatially unaware sgporeans can be. the other day i was at a hawker centre, walked past this man who was queueing at a stall and he suddenly decided to go get smth else, turned around with his arms resting on his hips (so his elbows were sticking out) and full out elbowed me and the belly... omg. walking in sg is like driving, i always need to slow down around ppl who look like they're not paying attention to their surroundings. 

anyways other than minor inconveniences, the pregnancy has been good so far. i wonder sometimes even i'll actually miss being pregnant :') it's just such a surreal and fascinating experience carrying your kid inside of you. seeing their little movements (not so little nowadays. abit painful sometimes LOL), watching your stomach grow, witnessing the growth every dr's appt. 

i was just thinking that there's rly a lot to be thankful for this pregnancy. 

1. The Husband

sherwin has been a real gem!! just doing all the things that real men do for their pregnant wives, like household chores, driving me around (hasn't missed a single appt so far :') ), and what he prolly does the most is making sure all my food cravings are satisfied. i don't rly have any strong food cravings but there are things i feel like having for dinner sometimes and he brings me there right away after work. so sweet la 

2. The Car

kinda brings me to my next point, so glad we got a car. since we got it early on in the pregnancy i've only taken public transport a handful of times. but only once has someone offered me their seat?? usually my rides are short so i don't need a seat and don't mind standing. but i always thought pregnant women have no problem being offered seats on the train. was so wrong... from what i observed people are mostly oblivious cos they're using their phones. not sure if im giving them the benefit of the doubt haha but that seems to be the case. anyway with the car we rly have the convenience of going anywhere we like, whether it's to run errands, shop for stuff, eat, or all of the above.

3. The Symptoms

okay not grateful for the symptoms. but grateful that they have been mild and allowed me to enjoy my pregnancy!! i think i mentioned in the prev post, had morning sickness but it subsided after week 10 and other than that i had swollen hands and feet, lower backache, some occasional bloating, etc. but so far i have slept well and have been enjoying a good appetite and general mood. none of the nasty stuff that potentially comes with any pregnancy, like migraines, mood swings, lethargy, prolonged morning sickness. 

4. The Timing

i'm going on ML at a rly good time in terms of work. it's right after i get my perf bonus, and there's restructuring going on right now so a lot of uncertainty. plus in terms of festive season, i was in the clear (after 3 months) to announce the pregnancy during christmas, so no morning sickness, i could enjoy the holidays, and no making up excuses to avoid drinking either (if i wasn't ready to announce it). and then i was already around 7 months along during CNY. great for feasting hehe 

4. The Parents

my parents have been showing alot of concern for me and it's nice cos everyone asks about the baby and gets them baby clothes and toys, but my parents have been talking about what to cook during my confinement, and they passed me red dates and longans to boil and have been generally more concerned for my welfare haha. not that they don't care bout the baby, but it's definitely nice to feel remembered and to be treated like a daughter and not just a soon-to-be mum :) 

5. Other Mums 

love the sense of togetherness that mums and soon-to-be mums have!! i have had colleagues at work come talk to me and offer encouraging words and postpartum tips. also gotten so many hand-me-downs from yy and wums that i don't even need to buy my own baby clothes haha. anw, i just unexpectedly like seeing how babies bring women together. 

ok that's it for now, the next time i blog may be after baby Bernice (whoa name reveal??) comes out!!

💓

Bright, cold silver moon

 new vlog! kind of a short one :)

https://youtu.be/e7W6-E4pRxk