Alright alright alright

One of my favourite scenes from Dazed & Confused

How do you own disorder

I was coincidentally wearing my ASD shirt on Wednesday otw to school when I read on Cory LaQuay's instagram that he and Brian White had decided to call it quits with the band :(

I guess I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I'm not a fan of the newer albums so I guess it's good that Cory and Brian are going to do their own stuff; maybe they'll come up with material I'll be interested in. Plus, Cory and Brian are my favourites in the band (I don't usually pick favourites cause I believe everyone in the band is important but Cory's drumming and Brian's screaming... too much for my rationality to bear)

But on the other hand, it's always sad to see one of your favourite bands part ways. ASD got me through some tough times and though I can't say for sure I didn't see this coming, it's still upsetting... like another piece of my childhood just dissipated.

Listening to 'The Cali Buds' now and it's so sad cause the song is about their friendship and the MV is just a typical band video of them on tours and performing but it's still evoking the feels :'(

Well, on to some merrier stuff (kinda)

The past week has been a kind week. Gig's over and all the midterms and major assignments are done so I can finally take a breather. Also met up with my band on thursday and the new drummer is great, but Esplanade's Silent Studio sucks haha or maybe I'm just not used to it

Other than that, nothing much has been happening. Friends are going clubbing tonight and I'm proud of myself for not going. Not really in the mood anyway haha I was sooo tired yesterday night I just gave up on homework and went to sleep.

I have 55 pages of SE readings and 42 pages of SC readings to do this week. No pictures some more, just pure text. Good luck to me!

The quiet things that no one ever knows

Ok gonna rush this post cause I'm meeting Jiams for supper/dessert later

So the gig was on Saturday! 

I had a lot of fun :) I always do, performing. It's a rush that beats any other kind. That moment when you're on a stage doing what you love with your fellow musicians, it really feels like home. I also feel super blessed to have met many talented musicians over the years since I've started playing music despite my own mediocrity. 

After the gig we had an enjoyable dinner together before we parted ways. I think there was a kinda mutual understanding that this was it, you know... after the gig there would be no more crazy 4-hour Tuesday night jamming sessions or late night pizza, and we would rarely have the opportunity to meet up as a unit again. Isaac gave us sweets and a handwritten note each (aww) and HK said, "We can always go for coffee," but really, with the busy conflicting schedules and all these new events and people constantly popping up in our lives, who actually has the time? 

I guess this is the part where my bad habit of over-analyzing and over-thinking everything comes in haha I know some people can move on easily but I can't- I like to always have the same bunch of friends sticking around and I get really sad when people come in and go out of my life, even if we're not close. 

When I was younger I used to think I was a bit of a misanthrope but now I realize I just get attached to people too easily, so when they don't reciprocate I try to tell myself I never really liked them in the first place.

First band in Amplified... hopefully not the last eh? Haha

Had a lot of fun working with these people, even if our genres didn't mix. 

Jiams and DT (I love you two), and SJ and the JC classmates (I think it's weird how we got closer after JC)

The day after the gig my mom took out the old photo album and showed me this pic of my dad (rightmost guy) playing bass at NUS in 1981, also in his freshman year LOL. #runsinthefamily

Check out dem bell-bottomed jeans tho. Wish I grew up in the 70s too, it looks like it would've been fun. Or maybe not, since the baby boomers had it the hardest when their generation came out to work.

Also regret sending my mom the videos of me performing. She went around showing them to everyone- my cousins, uncles and aunts, even the teachers in the staffroom (also my former colleagues)... #moms

No link to the post at all. I just find this really funny

Dun dun dun dun bass slide dun dun dun dun one bar of silence dun dun dun dun

The day we first met haha excuse my awkwardness

Ok bye

Edit (22/10 2.20pm): Just bumped into one of the bandmates on my way out of school. Both our reactions: "EH HI" -hesitation over whether to stop and exchange small talk or move on- -moves on- All happened within the span of two seconds

#firstsignsofbeinghi-byefriends 

#sighpie

Low fuel light's been on for days

This song just makes me so upset about how it's my last year being a teenager and while on one hand I think all in all I spent my teenage years well, on the other hand I think about how I'll never get to cruise down an interstate highway in a beat-up pickup with Brand New or the Offspring on the stereo... (clearly I've been watching too many old-school movies)

And then I found this in the comments section:

"Not gonna lie. I actually am jealous of teenagers now that I have turned 20. Growing up is scary and I am always afraid of where I am going to end up in this world. Will I be a good man? Will I be a loving father? WIll I actually get a good job? Will I actually have a family? I honestly just want to stay young forever and have summer romances and sleepovers with friends on the weekends. You don't realize how scary the world is and how afraid you truly are about growing up till everything you are familiar with just ends and you move out and move on with life. It's some really deep shit and it keeps me up at night sometimes. To any young people reading this ENJOY BEING YOUNG. Those people you might hate at school, those bullies, wondering how you can fit in well fuck all that none of it really matters and you will find that out as you get older. Enjoy being young and embrace it because your life is about to change. When the time does come for you to grow old and if you find yourself afraid like me don't feel alone cause there are others out there like you, and like me. I know I can push on, we can push on, but it is still scary."

Ultra monday blues :( 

Had a great weekend and I don't want it to enddd

Will blog more next time

Good night and sincerely hope all of you have a wonderful week ahead. x

Landed in a very common crisis

9.10pm: Listening to the Arctic Monkeys while doing Linguistics, cool night breeze coming in through the open window... life is good.

(Oops wanted to blog last night but was too tired) 

On my way to school now to hand in the damn SEA essay. Managed to crap 1500 words, minimum length is 1800 so 300 more to go. Gonna finish it up when I get there (just caught the guy next to me peeking at my phone... awkward) 

Also gonna meet some of the Amplified band to practice if time permits. Which brings me to my next point...

GIG IS TOMORROW WOOHOO WHEE LALALA

The event is called Ad Libitum, go Facebook it! It's from 3-7pm at NUS Yusof Ishak House (opposite University Health Centre, you can just ask any student for directions) and my band's playing at 5.30. We're called 3 GUYS 2 GIRLS (inside joke) and come on down if you like pop rock! 

I'm totally stoked!!! Every gig feels like the first plus this is kind of my biggest gig so far so ya HAHAHA YAYYY

...just hope I don't drop the bass...

(Pls laugh. It is common courtesy to laugh.) 

Also very hungry now :( It's 4.35pm and I've only had a sandwich and a cup of tea the whole day. 

Ok byee

Edit: took blardy forever to finish the essay. Only on my way home now, still haven't eaten anything else except a hot dog bun I fortunately had the good sense to buy before going to school. 

Can't wait to catch some zzz and wake up to an awesome day tomorrow ermahgerd I can just feel the awesomeness already

Well I need to do my German homework first but ermahgerd 

Also made friends with a drummer from Amplified who says he's starting a band and asked me to join, double ermahgerd 

It's one thing to meet people who like the same music and another to meet people who remember you because of your taste in music ("Were you the bassist at the tea session that said you listen to pop punk?") 

Ermahgerd yes I was

Ok I'll stop being annoying now

Edit #2: someone barfed in the train and it smelt like shit omg wtf did he eat I think I'm gonna move to another carriage

Paper bags and plastic hearts

Hello!!!

It's the end of yet another tiring week haha

Got back more grades which were less than satisfactory but oh wellz

Went for my Socio make-up tutorial on Tuesday, which was surprisingly very engaging + I made a new friend! I actually enjoyed the discussion part haha and I later realized that that was the tutorial group I balloted for in the first place but didn't manage to get :'( #life

First favourite part of the week was Tuesday night when we ended jamming early and I was zi-highing so I had time to leisurely walk back to CAP in a good mood, and UTown looked so pretty at night. I loved the ambience (HAHA sounds like I went on a solo romantic date but I can't think of a better word)

Then no more good mood on Wednesday because there was Econs midterm in the evening that I hadn't started studying at all for. Had to chiong-mug before the paper

And I wasn't nervous at all until Lianne and I got to MPSH and the crowd was like... omg. The sight of everyone milling around outside the hall waiting for the doors to open totally reminded me of O levels and A levels and it got my heart racing hahaha

Got home around 9pm to a small pot of fried rice my fam left for me, aww. Though it was leftovers from Sunday and cold by the time I got home, it was still delicious :)

Second favourite part of the week was Thursday! Only had german lecture from 8-9.30am. Hardest part was waking up. I was contemplating skipping it but still dragged myself out of bed anyway.

By 12pm that day I had had my breakfast, travelled to NUS, attended the lecture, travelled back and had my lunch.

Had drums as usual and I was relieved that my teacher didn't scold or chastise me when I told him before lesson that I didn't practice the whole week haha.

Also learnt a new drum beat (is that what you call it) and was practicing it when I stopped and he had this look of pride on his face and told me again that I was one of the fastest students he'd had so far... it made my entire week. (I give up on trying to figure out how to phrase this without sounding like I'm bragging but ya I was just really happy)

Anyway it's almost 2am! Can't believe the day just flew past like that. Didn't even manage to get much work done cause I was distracted by a Breakin' Benjamin song.

Also somehow managed to add more to my ever-heavy workload by agreeing to try for this thingy with my band, so we're gunna meet and start jamming again somewhere in Week 10.

Hopefully I can manage to cram in practice time.

But I'm really looking forward to meeting them again. Miss playing rock music.

I remember when we were setting up one time in May I think when our then-drummer commented that the bass was too soft so I stood next to the amp and turned it up a bit and he just kept saying, "Louder... louder some more... louder... a bit more..." until it was like each note reverberated soundly around the room, but it was awesome haha

Ok really need to sleep bye

I need medicine to quiet and survive it

On an island out in the sea

I wouldn't care what they think of me

But in this crowded room I believe

That I'm seconds from insanity

Cause their eyes just rip me all apart

And my temperamental mind decides that I'm the enemy

Welcome to oblivion

Where panic starts to settle in

Welcome to oblivion

Oh oh, I think I'm losing it

Breakfast with Wums at Holland V the other day before going to DT's match at SIM. Unfortunately I can't remember the name of the place or the prices haha. Anyway the food was decent but not memorable. 

Had dinner with Wums Friday night at a Bedok Reservoir road coffee shop after our run.Was looking forward to introducing her to my favourite pork rib noodle but the stall was closed :'( 

We walked back to Kem which was surprisingly not that far away, and we saw a lot of fruit bats at the canal, ermahgerd. I've seen bats but not that many at one time. It was pretty scary, at least to me.

 Yeah I know my story has no link to the selfie 

Lunch on Saturday with Wums and DT at Working Title! The coffee is as good as evaaaa. 

 It was my belated birthday lunch haha. ET came later and Yiying couldn't make it :( But it was good finally meeting up again, especially with DT since I see Wumsy quite a lot and I meet ET every tuesday. 

#melons4life

Had to run off early to meet my fam for dinner at i12 Katong. SUSHI TEI (insert biologically inaccurate representation of a heart here) 

I loooove Sushi Tei. 

All in all it was a great day :) though I had to stay up till 1.30am to work on the damn SEA essay. I sleep very early so 1.30am is really a huge feat for me. 

Managed to do it with the help of a lot of caffeine. I had 2 cups of earl grey tea, 1 cafe latte and 2 cups of jap green tea the whole day. Heh

Ok bye need to catch up on sleep (ya la I know I'm weak) 

So glad it's Hari Raya tomorrow

All of my change I've spent on you

Happy burfday to me

Happy burfday to me

Happy burfday to me-ee

Happy burfday to me

Listening to the 1975 in the train and resisting the urge to break out into song and dance. 

Having a good burfday so far. Started off nicht so gut because of the 1.5h German test that really screwed with both my neck and my brain. Why anyone thinks it's a good idea to do tests in those uncomfortable little chair-cum-desk thingies I will never understand. 

Had Subway during my 10am break and a nice cup of coffee, then went for EL tutorial which ended 15min early YESSAH I like this tutor

On my way home now, having drums later and maybe meeting the BFF (who sent me the sweetest birthday text :') 

Thanks also for the wishes, Lianne Tania and Yiying!!!! (LOL yes I have very few friends) (Ooh SJ literally just wished me too, thanks bby!) 

Anw speaking of drums, these days I'm worrying about how I'm gonna come up with cash for it. I guess I could ask my parents for money but I would feel bad. Mom spent a lot on classical piano for me too but I turned out the tomboy and chose to play bass and drums instead... Oh well hahahah 船到桥头自然直

Anyway, Lianne was right, being 19 doesn't feel much different from being 18 hahaha except it feels closer to 20 oh noooo

I'm gonna miss being a teenager so much when I turn 21. Don't wanna grow up and have responsibilities. 

K bye

Toxicity

Hellooooo

It's been a crazy past two days. The mid-term break feels like ages ago already. 

Had classes from 9am to 6pm on Monday. #shagged

There was a total of three hours for breaks from 9 to 6, but for the first hour Lianne and I were talking about econs and socio stuff over a quick Subway lunch, and the other two hours were spent discussing econs discussion questions from the textbook hahahaha #nerdsforlife

Tuesday was hectic!!

8am to 10am: German lecture

10am to 12pm: EL lecture (which I skipped to study for german mid-sems) 

12pm to 2pm: EL project group meeting

2pm to 4pm: SE tutorial

4pm to 6pm: $8 paid experiment with Lianne + dinner

6pm to 10pm: CCA

The experiment was kinda strange, we signed up as pairs and arrived in a computer room to do a survey. For one of the sections I had to gauge Lianne's responses to some mathematics questions that she had to answer haha. 

At the last section they asked things like "How similar do you think you are to your partner?" "How similar are your beliefs, values and attitudes?" "How long have you known your partner?" and "How much do you like your partner?" 

For the last one Lianne and I both answered 5 out of 5 HAHAH okay awkward

And we both wrote 6 years 9 months for duration of friendship wow

Anyway, also got back my SE mid-sem results yesterday and I still can't believe it but I got an A?! Of course I'm damn happy but what even I seriously thought I would fail. I haven't even started on my SE essay assignment yet that's due in two weeks because I thought I would fail so I decided to just heck all things SE-related. 

Thank God for lenient markers. -insert crying emoticon here-

CCA was supposed to end at 8pm but it dragged till 10pm haha. Maybe dragged's not quite the right word to use because I had lots of fun :) 

I think I'm starting to get emotionally attached to my bandmates and I don't want that to happen because after the gig we'll probably hardly see each other anymore :'( (this is part of the reason why I avoided going for camps; I can't stand having hi-bye friends) 

But on a brighter note, I'm starting to feel stoked for the giggg. 

Abrupt end... BYE