Without feeling indigo

hello finally back

can't believe it's dec 30 alr!!

i usually do a recap thingy at the end of the year, but i'm feeling so lazy to do so. in short, i think 2016 overall has been one of the more ups-and-downs years of my life?

^
this is when i tried to blog and i got lazy and started watching youtube instead HAHA

it's in fact 7 jan 2017 already.... omg

december was mostly just a pretty awesome month. spent most of it jamming pop punk with ampd friends for the next gig, fretting over my visa application stuff, watching tv with my parents, rediscovering good music and drinking lots of tea.

i've been super into Basement's album I Wish I Could Stay Here, and random songs from Neck Deep, and my current favourite song is Nerve by The Story So Far. it's.... FEELS.

soooo my first post of the new year!

like i mentioned, 2016 was a super happz year. school, gigs, preparation for sep, my first internship... as you can probably already tell, i'm very lazy to go into details. please refer to posts of 2016 for more info.

but speaking of sep, i still can't believe that i'm leaving for germany in 7 weeks. all the endless preparing for this moment, and it's finally almost here.

i remember the day i received my NUS acceptance package, and looking through the brochures and stuff, and seeing the LPP one. then i applied for LPP, took four sems of german, and spent a good amount of time applying for SEP. and then i received the email that i was accepted for SEP, but it still wasn't over yet... i had to apply to konstanz, get the acceptance letter and apply for my schengen visa, amongst a bunch of other things.

had so many admin things to do that i was stressed and couldn't sleep for some nights cos i was worried that i wouldn't get my visa in time for my flight. but fortunately it's almost all over and soon i'll be flying off.

i have so many mixed feelings about SEP. i've always been super homely, totally not the adventurous type, so this is definitely gonna be a huge leap out of my comfort zone. on one hand i actually feel kinda sian that i won't be going back to school next week with all my friends. it feels super weird. i also feel quite guilty about my parents funding my trip... it's expensive to exchange in europe and i'm scared i won't make the trip 'worth it.'

but on the other hand this is really a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and i've worked too hard since the start of uni to pass this up. so... here's to a great five months of exchange!! i hope. i'm so NERVOUS. and super excited at the same time.

pictures beloww

LOL accurate

Can't remember if I mentioned it,
but I got 2 free tickets from youth.sg to catch Cirque Adrenaline
and write a short review for them afterwards. Lianne came with me!
It was super worth it?? The tickets were second row seats
and we googled; they were worth $135 each omg.
And the circus was awesome! 

Had dinner at the marina bay mall food court and bought my favourite tea!!
But Lianne didn't like it cos hers was too sweet/milky :(

When will my lover return from the war?

She looks so disgusted HAHA damn funny

The theatre looked atas

While waiting for show to start

Show started!!

I must say that I was personally ogling the circus performers' bodies the whole time...
Their physique is incredible omg.
Also developed a newfound respect for circus performers.
It's such a hectic and demanding lifestyle.
And they have to be dancers, actors, comedians, gymnasts and acrobats all at the same time.
Respekt

Sphere of Death: the most heart-pounding act for me.
I feel like this was dangerous on a whole new level compared to the other acts,
cos if one guy drives just a tinge out of beat (they were going at insane speeds around the wheel),
then everybody is doomed.
I would upload the video I took but idk why Blogger doesn't let me.

Block 85 dinner with shijia & weiqiang one random night.
Feel like eating oyster omelette now

We also walked all the way to Fat Cat for dessert after that.
I rmb it just rained so the weather was nice and cool.
This is really my favourite kind of hanging out-
eating good food with good friends and then walking, talking and laughing about lame stuff

tl;dr Chilling is my favourite hobby

Christmas cookie from a family friend. So cute!!
Tasted equally cute

Okay bye HAHA

Nerve

hi hey ho i'm finally back

it's the holidays again, and the same time of the year when i lose my motivation to blog cos i'm not a bored student anymore

it's been a fun and happz week! holidays in december are always the best cos the weather on this burning island is finally awesome for once. hello to daily cool breeze and clear afternoon skies!

everything in point form cos i'm too lazy to link them up

1. went for a run last week with wums. ran at least 2km, and the next day my stomach, arms and legs ached... omg unfit ttm

2. finally gonna play a gig again! we're gonna play pop punk/emo yayyy so eggcites. had our first jam last week and it was fun. i'm using my stagg for practices, and the tone is bomb. seriously considering using it for the gig. it's funny cos i got this bass for 150 (but i think i've spent another 150-200 on maintenance and upgrades) while my fender was 1400 what the heck.

3. mum and brother went on holiday, and they're the noisy ones in the family so i'm currently enjoying the peace and quiet at home 😌 in the afternoons my dad's at work so the house is extra quiet and the sunlight streams in while i'm doing chores and working and it makes me feel like a cool young person, living in my own apartment or smth. LOL

4. oh, the reason why i'm home in the afternoons is cos my boss said i could work from home if i wanted to 😱 which is seriously awesome. having to reach the office at 8am is no joke, and the office environment makes me feel stressed (but i have my own cubicle which is really nice). so thank God for this internship 🙏🏻

5. went back to cups n canvas for the first time in a few years to do work, and almost didn't recognise the place until i saw the signboard. the pasta was a lot less nicer than i remembered... had a hard time finishing it, and i usually have quite low standards when it comes to food. and it was 17 bucks omg. much regret. but the coffee was good. might go back to try the sweet potato latte again.

6. even though SEP is more or less confirmed, according to nus i still gotta indicate what modules i wanna take next sem, just in case. and i really wanna take global economic history under my favourite econs prof, dr sng tuan hwee. but i won't be able to, cos exchange + honours year :( sometimes i feel sad that i'll be graduating so soon, knowing there's so many interesting elective mods that i wanna take but i'll never get to, once i graduate.

7. i don't have many pictures to upload, sadly.

24 nov, finished my two heavy exams and had planned to study with Lianne
but I pangseh-ed her to go home and sleep, so I bought her an iced mocha to say sorry LOL
that's me buying the mocha

Last day of examsss

oops forgot to rotate

dinner and dessert with bae

^ Always be friendly to your local hawkers...
#can't even see the rice

car selfie
#dat forehead

went to Ken's birthday party... he didn't even know we were coming cos he didn't read the chat properly omg
we knew about 2% of the other people at the party hahaha it was weird

me seconds before: "Do I need to bend down?" 

okay that's all folks

Seven years

hellooo

actually feeling super lazy to blog

but FINALS ARE FINALLY OVERRRR

i always get this bittersweet feeling the few days after finals end. i feel kinda displaced, like suddenly i don't really have a purpose anymore. LOL. is it just me 🌝

and it's only been 2 days since finals ended. 

so anyways

did i mention the lsm paper was actually quite fun to me? went for the exam without studying at all, mostly cos it's open book. so during the exam i was searching up answers on my notes, and learning new stuff in the process... it was kind of interesting. LOL

sunday was my last day of the sem studying in school. i know that i have zero productivity at home, so even though i live more than an hour from school, i travelled there every day from the start of reading week till finals week to study. and studying with friends always makes life a little less depressing. 

then came the long-awaited day, monday. met lianne early at starbucks to study + have lunch, then went for dsc final at 1pm, which was easier than i expected. but still gonna s/u cos my CA components cmi. hahaha sian

and finally..... last paper, behavioural econs. waiting to take the last paper was torturous, for some reason time seemed to crawl by. 

the paper was also do-able. the bell curve is gonna be crazy. was also very annoyed by the girl next to me who kept loudly throwing down her correction tape every time after she was done using it 🙄

went to holland v after the paper with lianne and we had burgers at fat boys'. it tasted quite salty and processed. hahaha if that makes sense

contemplated whether to get beer/dessert/coffee after we had dinner, but i think we were both shagged from the 2 papers, so we decided to go home hahaha

woke up early yesterday morning and couldn't get back to sleep cos i was excited that i had nothing to do for the day. LOL

it was soooo nice to laze around guilt-free :') 

had lunch and my favourite teh si at the basement, then went home and watched a movie on my laptop called 'bridesmaids.' it's quite an old movie and halfway through i realised i've watched it before but i forgot where. but it's still awesome. kristen wiig's acting is A+++, some scenes were seriously comedic gold, laughed so hard

went to farrer park to meet jiams for curry rice. realised my internship is 5 stops from the hospital she's currently attached to, yasssss more dinners with the bff :')

and then we had beancurd. i LOVE traditional beancurd

went back home and finished watching the movie. i have such a huge crush on chris o'dowd. it's weird cos he's not even conventionally handsome. but he was sooo charming and cute in the movie ☺️

had to wake up at an unearthly hour today to go down to the german embassy, and also cos i wanted to avoid waiting long. 

came back and napped, then woke up at 12pm and had lunch with my mum at eastpoint. what a chill dayyyyyy

came home and watched another movie, 'there's something about mary.' great movie! but the ending was weird, and rushed. meh. 

my internship starts tmr and i'm quite bummed about it tbh. wish i could have a longer break :(( but oh wells. hope i like the job!!!

The day I discovered highlander

Totally random post, but as we all do when we get bored of studying for finals, I was searching up on random things like the best coffee in singapore, and one of the first few results that popped up was Highlander coffee. 

And that reminded me of the first time I accidentally stumbled upon Highlander. 

It was back in 2014. I was at the outram park area for a band jam, and I was 45min early. The studio was on the second floor of one of the units along a row of shops, so there wasn't really anywhere I could stand around or sit without looking awkward af. So I just sort of window shopped, walking around looking in at the shops along that row, and I saw this unassuming coffee place that didn't have a signboard. 

The place was tiny but only about half-full because it was 4pm, and the barista standing next to the large window made me feel awkward as he kept looking at me trying to decide if I should walk in. 

So eventually I went in, hemmed and hawwed at the menu, and after much deliberation, ordered the same thing I always do- a cafe latte.

And it was.... awesome. 

I'm no coffee critic, i just drink a lot of coffee, so idk the words one would use to describe the blend, but if I had to imagine the most perfect cup of coffee I could think of... That would be it. 

I was so excited for a while after that, thought I'd discovered a hidden treasure of a cafe, but some time later I realised it's already quite a famous spot amongst people who drink coffee... LOL

But i still think it's pretty cool how I chanced upon such a chill lowkey place like that. 

And thanks for reading my somewhat pointless post. HAHA. Just wanted to write down this feel-good memory of mine, lest I forget. 

Gonna sleep now good night

So I, sometimes

wow blogger changed their page layout

trying to up their game i see

down with 3 papers!! the first 2 were my heavier econs mods, so after those ended i lost quite a bit of steam HAHA

the first was public finance, which was okay-ish although i didn't quite finish the paper. the second was 3304 which was ughhhh. as one of my coursemates said, "the paper is a really bad indicator of our abilities for this mod"

just had my lsm paper at utown, which was more do-able than i expected, even though i didn't study at ALL. maybe i shouldn't have planned on s/u-ing it after all :/ but too late for ragrets

taking a short break now before i study for the next paper.

it's raining so heavily now that i was super tempted to go home. but nothing will get done at home :(

feel like eating smth now

2 days to freedommmm. can't waitttttt

You're right, it's true

Hellooo

Blogging cos procrastination

Really can't believe the sem is over. Done with all the presentations and assignments, and all that's left now is finals. I'm almost done with my 5th sem in NUS. Wth. I hardly feel like an adult yet and I'm gonna start working full-time in less than 2 years (hopefully)

I know I always say that each sem passes super fast, but this sem really topped it... still in disbelief that it's alr Reading Week. LOL. 

Had my last 9-hour day on Tuesday. If there's one thing I'm super happy to be saying goodbye to, it's this sem's Tuesdays. My timetable was super shiok in the sense that I managed to put everything into a 3-day work week, but the cost of that was my 9-hour odd week tuesdays. Fortunately the lecturer for my 9am class was super chill so some days I just came in late hehe

Hobo-ed at the studio both on wednesday and thursday to study. Went out to top up water at like 10pm and bumped into my eye candy 😍 we wave to each other but we've never talked before (not sure if he even knows my name LOL) As I was walking away I saw him look up and see me in the glass door reflection so I thought okay I should at least say hi... and we had a short convo yay he's so friendly and he has a nice voice too

ok nothing much to crap about alr so here's a few pictures (really just a few HAHA)

Throwback to Mayday Parade. Never been so close to the stage at a concert before hehe

Brooks looks so cute here like a small boy

Dinner and dessert a few weeks ago for a belated bday celebration for me
Went to Rangoon Road to have bkt and the soup was super peppery but the food was gooddd

I like this candid photo of DT

Looks like a Tigers Jaw album cover
Tasted pretty amazing
There was yuzu ice-cream under the duck and mango and it was pretty bomb

Expectation: Matcha filling oozes out onto the choc ice-cream below like on Instagram videos

Reality: DT accidentally breaks the biscuit and the whole matcha cake drops onto the ice-cream below

"Is she your only uni friend?"
HAHA
eternally glad to have you here in uni with me anyways :')

Oh I remember this was taken on a pretty shag day...
had a presentation just before, and my project group for this mod was super hiong...
they didn't allow me to use a script or even cue cards :(
But the prof loved our presentation, so I guess it was all worth it anyways

Had a much-needed coffee at humble after that
Plus humble expanded so much? wow
Love the new study spaces

Had an interview on Friday, then went to utown to catch my friends from the band Din's List perform
i think i'm actually quite glad that my band was outsted from the rising star competition so early.
so we didn't like go all the way to top 10 like Din's List only to not win...
does that make sense? hahaha

regardless, still an awesome performance, can't believe they didn't win
apparently the judges thought it was too heavy, which is a load of poo
plus i never would have picked the top 3 groups they picked to win...
Ben said it best
#risingshit

my project group for ec4394, my first level 4 mod
probably my favourite project group so far (but I don't think lianne agrees LOL)
cos they're quite funny and very easy to work with

While waiting to have our last tutorial of the sem yesterday

back to the grind

BYE

And now my fears, they come to me in threes

Wth is it really the last week of school?

Currently in the yih study room and the weather is so nice and cooling today I just feel like sleeping or watching a movie even though I just had coffee.

I just realised today that I never got to finish watching the movie Slacker... I always watch a little bit and then I have to go do something else or I get bored of it and just close the movie HAHA.

Same as the book A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway... either I fall asleep or I give up

#hey that sounds like life

I have been very unmotivated this sem and I can think of a few reasons why.
1. After around week 5 I decided that I'm just gonna use my s/us on the 2 breadth mods I'm taking this sem. I've really no interest in biology or business; just took those mods to clear my breadth module requirements. But I feel bad for Lianne who took the biz mod with me and thus has been tanking our group assignments since I gave up..... sorry my dear friend :(
2. Since I got my internship comfirmed I feel like there's no break after my exams so there's really not much to look forward to. LOL.

And I've been looking at the snaps and insta photos from all my friends who are currently overseas / on exchange and there's really only two words to describe how it looks..... "ho mia"

CAN'T WAIT FOR MY OWN EXCHANGE

All the beautiful European scenery and cities and food and travel

Come to mama

In many ways

Just realised that I have the whole next year sorted out for me.

Exams are coming up, then I'll be having my internship, then flying off to Germany, then coming back for honours year, with only a max of 5 days break between everything.

My next "long" break is December next year, for one month, then it'll be back to school in 2018 for my final sem, and BAM I'll have graduated.

😭

Diese Welt ist schnell und hat verlernt beständig zu sein

gestern hat mein freund mich gefragt, wie er ein satz auf deutsch sprechen sollt. dann habe ich realisiert, dass ich nicht für eine lange zeit deutsch benutzen. schade!

zum teil benutze ich deutsch, weil ich jetzt in der vorlesung bin, und ich will nicht andere leute verstehen, was ich schreibe. die vorlesung ist eine biologie vorlesung, und als ich hier sitze, ich habe zu einer conclusion ankommen (ich bin zu faul, diese wörter zu translate, also hoffe ich, dass sie verstehen. aber das ist sehr ironic, weil ich glaube, sie alle sprechen wahrscheinlich kein deutsch. hehe)

sowieso finde ich diese module ziemlich schwer. ob ich habe gedacht, dass deutsch schwer war, dann jetzt nehme ich das zurück. biologie sieht zu mir wie russisch aus. ich verstehe nichts :(

und mein gruppe sind alle so focused. sehr stressig!

ja, ich sollte mehr attention bezahlen. (<-- deutsch="" nbsp="" p="" schlectes="" sehr="">
also habe ich nicht diesen text proofread. bitte ignorieren (LOl) sie die vielen fehler.

bis dann! tschüss

Middle

nights like these are long- nights when i have too many thoughts running around my head, not sad, but not happy thoughts either; they're just thoughts around events and people and the significance of things, as usual, and the contemplating usually sours things, or else i choose to shut out the thoughts entirely and go back to work

in hindsight, even though this year sped by like crazy, a lot of stuff has happened. didn't really realise how eventful this year has been, until now.

in summary, change is the only thing constant, but sometimes i think i really dislike it being so. as an infj i love having the same people around and more often than not i am perfectly content having things remain the way they are, but unfortunately life doesn't work that way.

and in an increasingly globalised, disconnected and desensitised world i sometimes struggle with nights like these where i begin to question everything all over again.

but then i remember what it's like to be endowed with all i have right now, in this current moment, and i think i learn, all over again, what it's like to simply be happy and thankful.

And this time I think you'll know

Blogging in the FASS computer lab before I do my tutorial because #procrastination


(why am I the only one making loud typing noises? this is awkward)


Week 10 has been really nice.


Sunday was Mayday Parade!!!! but extremely unfortunately, there was a hurricane in the Philippines before the show, so only 3 members of the band were able to make it on time, and we got an acoustic set instead...... :((( I was so bummed. Sure, the set was great, but an unplugged show is just not the same as a full band set when it comes to pop punk. I paid for smashing cymbals and driving basslines and solos, not the sam willows.


Unforeseen circumstances suck


But well, at least they played a lot of my favourites, so that's great. And we got to meet them after the show and get signed posters! feels bad though, that they looked so tired and all. I think they were in Singapore for less than 8 hours in total.


There was a bunch of other stuff that made the concert not as spectacular as it should've been. I don't like to be grumpy on my blog, so in summary:


1) reached the venue at 10am to start queueing because I really wanted front row. There was about 8 people in front of me then. And then at 7pm, someone came who was acquainted with the girl in front of me (I say acquainted because they didn't look like close friends), and long story short, a total of five kids just jumped queue in front of me? I was so, so mad. I would have told them to f off to the back, but the girl who reluctantly let her 'friends' cut queue was nice to me and I didn't want to put her on the spot.


But I made sure I put those damn kids on the spot, putting my bag in front of me so they had to sit outside of the queue a bit, and making sure to make eye contact with them. Best part is they got second row, centre (I was a bit to the right of them) and they didn't look enthusiastic at all?? Whenever I glanced over at them they were just stoning. Wtf kids these days.


But who cares, I had a great time singing my heart out.


2) The crowd could not sing. Half the girls behind me were just literally screeching. If you go to concerts you would know how amazing it feels when the crowd can sing, and how awful it is when they simply can't.


But anyways, on the bright side it was really nice to come into such close contact with one of my all-time favourite bands. I kept waving at the rhythm guitarist Brooks and he smiled and waved back at me -insert the happy emoji here, apparently this computer doesn't have emojis- but after a while his face was like 'okok I got it' hahahaha


And at one point I think the singer Derek was asking us how we were doing or something? And I gave a thumbs up and he smiled, pointed right at me and gave me a thumbs back. I dieded a little. He was so niceee.


The next few days was spent on school. Went to the NUS museum to do a group project on Wednesday evening where we basically had to go around and manually find the answers to the science questions we were given. Felt like primary school and prolly would've been a lot more fun if it wasn't a graded assignment.


Then I went to YIH (probably the one building that is my home outside of home #lianne will know) cos I heard there was free dinner there for all CAC members, but for some reason there apparently wasn't :((( well there were free brownies, but I'm not a sugar person.


Had to settle dinner by myself at starbucks like a lonely rich person (which I am not, I just didn't have a choice cos the YIH canteen is closed for renovation and I don't want to eat 7/11 food) and then went to the studio to watch some people jam jazz music (it sounded amazing, whenever I watch these people jam I feel so honoured to be friends with them) and then went home


Yesterday was Ad Lib! Wow I remember my own Ad Lib like it was yesterday. Back when I still actively played my Stagg, wore jeans and had to play pop songs cos we were randomly sorted into bands and my singers only sang pop.


It was really nice, like all internal gigs. Highlight of the evening was listening to Josh's band play You're Not Alone by Saosin, I was singing my ass off while standing behind N, sound engineer of the night, and halfway through he turned around and was like "wth I kept searching to see who was singing backup vocals onstage"


Oops I procrastinated for an hour (wth that passed damn fast)


Have a beer date with HJ later so I don't have much time oh no


Okay bye

And it was all yellow

here's a throwback to student life fair 2016. played drums for a gig for the very first time. so many funny things about this video LOL.

my completely blank face, which is actually just a result of me feeling super nervous inside, starting the set playing an instrument that i'm not familiar with at all.

isaac (the guy on keys who is really a drummer) kept glancing back at me, probably cos i was falling out of tempo or smth, and i totally didn't notice his not-so-subtle looks at all while i was playing cos i was so nervous ahaha.

i thought that my tempo was decent when i was playing, but now that i look back i feel like i can hear all the parts where i rushed and dragged.... hais

but regardless, in hindsight, it was still a great gig. it was something different. and i got to play with some of my closest friends in ampd. so yay.

also, was that really 9 weeks ago?? unbelievable

anyway, some updates on my life before i forget.

1) got some internship offers! was actually thinking of doing editorial work again, but i got an offer for marketing and research intern, so i thought why not. downside is that i start 3 days after my last exam though :/

2) got back 3304 midterm. when i first saw the announcement on ivle that the median was 65/80, i was like gg..... but still had to go collect my paper anyway, and i got 71, omg damn happy. but the median is still damn high i can't believe it. #uni why u so competitive

3) caught a flu bug over the weekend :( sore throat disappeared but was replaced by a cough. felt like some seriously ill person going around school and sitting in quiet lectures coughing and sniffing and coughing and sniffing, even though i actually felt quite well :(

4) mayday parade is this sunday!!! i've been looking forward to it for so long, and i can't believe it's finally really here. really hope i'll be fully recovered by then, so i can sing to my heart's content. so eggcited for a night of feelssss

5) but of course, all the profs just have to assign homework and assignments this week 🙄 shag life.