Drummer jokes

So, some time ago I found a page full of hilarious drummer jokes.

Told them to my band while we were sitting around at semi-finals and our drummer, understandably, didn't look like he found them too funny but oh lord they were so gold I just have to share some of them hahahhaa

Don't get me wrong I love drummers but seriously


1. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.

2. What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
Drool.

3. What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.

4. Two cowboys were waiting in their fort for the Indians to attack. They listened to the distant pounding war drums. One cowboy muttered to the other, "I don't like the sound of them drums."
Just then, a distant voice came over the hill, "It's not our usual drummer!"

5. How do you get a drummer to play an accelerando?
Ask him to play in 4/4 at a steady 120 bpm.

6. How do you know if a drummer's platform is level?
The drool comes out of both sides of his mouth.

7. Did you hear about the drummer who got into college?

No.

Neither did I.

8. What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
A drum machine can keep a steady beat and won't steal your girlfriend!

9. How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five; one to change it, and the other four to stand around and talk about how much better Neil Peart would have done it!

10. What do you call a drummer who's lost his girlfriend?
Homeless.

11. What do you call a kid with a set of drums?
The poster child for birth control.

12. What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.

13. How do you get a drummer off your porch?
Pay for the pizza!

14. How do you know when a drummer's outside your door?
The knock gets faster.

15. "Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."

16. What do you call a drummer with more than one brain cell?
Pregnant.

17. "Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a drummer."
His mother scoffs and says, "Well, you can't do both."