Y

GOOD MORNING

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

BUTTERFLIES

MANY BUTTERFLIES

Technically I should be used to this since I've had so many 'first days of school' 

BUT NO

EVERY FIRST DAY FEELS LIKE THE FIRST FIRST DAY 

WEHHHHH

And we sleep inside of this machine

It's the last day of freedom!!!!!!

It kind of just hit me when I woke up this morning, and I haven't been able to shake off that depressing notion since then.

It hit me that this is it- it's literally the end of the big break I've been waiting for my whole life. The end of the longest holiday ever, by far.

Where did all the time go? And I mean this very seriously. I didn't even realise how fast the months went by. I just thought, oh yeah I'm starting university in a couple of months... a month... couple of weeks... couple of days...

But it never really occured to me that it was so little time.

I went out on Thursday, to visit ET at her new hostel with Jiams. It looked a lot better than I'd pictured, but I don't think I'd want to move into a hostel now. You have to do a lot of cleaning up, and you have to take out the trash and wash and dry-clean your own clothes.

I can imagine myself going from slob status to downright disgusting because I reuse my clothes all the time and I probably would do so even more if I had to wash my own clothes.

Anyways, then Jiams and I went for a drink.

Spent Friday being ill at home. I think I was mildly hungover which is really weird because... is it even possible for a pint of beer containing vodka and lime juice to give you a hangover?

I wasn't feeling feverish at all, neither was I having a cold. I had all the symptoms too.

But anyway I read online that sometimes impurities such as zinc are added into your alcohol to bring out the taste more, and these can make you sick. Hmm.

Went out with my family yesterday to CCP for lunch, then after we came home I watched a bunch of bands' full concerts. John Frusciante was godly at Slane Castle.

Wasn't in a National Day mood at all this year. Every year I watch the NDP, it just gets more cringe-worthy. So many over-enthusiastic brightly-dressed people. -shudders-

Spent today printing out my new timetable, lecture notes and readings. It took forever because my printer can't print double-sided hahaha so I had to sit there and do it manually.

Print page, flip, print page, flip.

There went my afternoon~

Time to grab some edibles. Bye

Hit em right between the eyes

(Meant to publish the following post at 12pm today)


I tried to learn Soul to Squeeze by RHCP on bass last night. First time attempting a whole song fingerstyle. I always use a pick because I listen to a lot of fast-paced stuff, and also mainly because playing with a pick is so much easier hahahaha ya I know people call it cheating.

But I've definitely gained a greater appreciation of fingerstyle bass now. It took away so much of the finger noise, and somehow the riffs sounded so much better. But they were still difficult to play. I love Flea.

At one of my favourite cafes now. Wish all the best cafes weren't so darn inaccessible. I was at Starbucks earlier for breakfast and was contemplating whether to just get my coffee there or at this place, and in the end I walked all the way here.

But it was all worth it :) saved more than two bucks, for a much better cup of coffee. YAY

Also saved even more when the barista asked me, "Are you staying here?" and I was confused for a second and thought he meant like 'having here or takeaway', so I said "Yeah" and then I remembered the cafe was connected to a backpackers' inn, so I got my coffeh at a discounted price. Hell yeah.

#perks of looking like shit all the time #no offense backpackers

So, we're almost mid-week into the last week of holidays. I am so sad.

I was gonna do this "Things I've Accomplished Over the Last Eight Months" thing, but Lianne beat me to it, and she had all these pretty pictures too. Pshhh oh well I'm still gonna do it anyway

I had a tutor during the JC days. He was a family friend in his final year of uni and he mainly taught me chemistry but he liked to gossip and chit chat a lot too, so I learnt more from him than just chemistry.

Anyways, nearer to the A level period, he told me, "The break after your A levels is going to be the best time of your life. So you better cherish it."

I take advice from elders very seriously, so I made it a point to try new stuff and do all the things I wanted to do. Well, most of the things.

I think I can safely say that I thoroughly enjoyed my break, and spent it well. I caught up with a lot of old friends, went through a lot of new experiences and did a lot of thinking.

But, I think my biggest regret is that I didn't get to go overseas with friends. I feel like it's one of those things you have to do during a long break. There was a lot of planning with different people, but nothing ever came to fruition. Oh well, next time!

I did get to go overseas with my parents though, and it was awesome :) Love my folks!

1. Took my first trip to Africa
"I just moved here from Africa." 
Morocco was beautiful and if not for Mediterranean cuisine and the slightly intimidating locals, I would want to move there already. Would love to see more of Africa when I'm older.

2. Worked three different jobs
They were my first jobs, one after the other- I tutored a girl briefly when I was in sec4, but never had a real part-time job. Worked as a cashier, a relief teacher and a receptionist. It was super tiring, but satisfying. I learnt a lot from working, although I felt more than ready to enjoy my last two months of holiday by the time I was done with the last job. Oh, and apparently two of the Little Monsters wrote me cards for Kindness Week, aw :')

3. Joined a new band
It's sad that we don't get to meet as frequently as I'd like to these days, but those couple of months were probably the best of my break. I like having things on my schedule, so though juggling work, practice and west-side meetups was tiring, I don't regret any of it. I miss that overexcited, jumpy feeling- like I would be falling asleep at work and then suddenly remember about practice later, and I would wake up instantly. Darn it now I feel like jamming :(

4. Had my first gig
Aside from school events, it was my first time performing live, what more with my favourite instrument. Awesome experience, would love to do it again, if I ever get the chance

5. Seen Mayday Parade live
Not the best live show out of the three I've seen, but it's still Mayday freaking Parade. I think people were looking at me cause I was jumping around and singing so loud but I was just so happy :') Going to gigs are basically the best thing ever. Love Mayday Parade!

6. Went clubbing
Yep, did something I never thought I'd try. And actually enjoyed it. Moral of the story, don't be afraid to try new things cause honestly you'll never know.

However, kids, the same rule does not apply to drugs.

7. Tried hard liquor
Yummerz.

8. Picked up drums
Finally, after years of contemplating I just went for it. My mom didn't even have anything to say cause she wasn't paying for it. -insert smug emoticon here-
Again, I regret nothing :)

9. Signed up to learn a new language in university
LAG1201, hell yeh.

10. Went swimming
First time in three years. Was pleasantly surprised to discover I hadn't actually forgotten how to swim like I thought, but I still didn't have the stamina to even finish one lap hahahaha.

11. Watched a horror movie
Before this, the first and last horror flick I caught in cinemas was Drag Me To Hell, and at the time it was so nasty I swore I wouldn't watch another one again. Did it this year on a dare cause I lost a board game, and fortunately it wasn't that scary. I think it was called Devil's Due. Went with 5SB and I quote Bryan, "I feel like I can just go home and sleep after this."

12. Tried cooking
Admittedly, it was just potato salad and spaghetti, but hey. Also found out that I quite enjoy cooking.


Approximately six days left!! :'(

That time is here again / Prepare to be apart

It's a pretty saturday and I'm sitting at home waiting for Forrest Gump to show on tv at 3.30pm.

Bidding results are out andddd I got all the modules I bidded for! Most 'expensive' was Southeast Asian Studies, at 175 points :'( Heartpain but I guess I can understand the high demand since the only other Exposure modules from this division are China, Japanese, Malay and South Asian Studies...

So my modules for my very first sem ever are:
EL1011E: English Language, I think (I actually don't know the exact title of this module, is it English Language or EL and Literature or something else?)
SE1101E: Southeast Asian Studies
SC1101E: Sociology
LAG1201: German 1
EC1101E: Economics

All introductory Exposure modules. A lot of reading to be done, according to Lianne :( Oh, and trying to fit our timetables so that we could have similar schedules was in vain cause there were last min changes to hers and now we'll only get to go to school and go home together on two days I think :(

Also, I can't decide if I'm happy or not that I don't have to do any more Math and Science for the rest of my life.

Finally, for once in my life, I don't even know the definition of an atom and it doesn't matter :')

I think I will miss doing Math, though. HAHA.

Yeah I like Math. I'm Asian, wut u expect?

One week left and I'm rushing to get all my priorities straightened out. Setting lunch dates with friends I probably won't get to see that much anymore after uni starts (especially those moving into hostels nooo), making a list of the movies I want to watch, what merch to shop for online, which days I can set aside for drum and bass practice.

I think I'm most likely continuing with drums (next week is my last lesson for Beginner) though it's expensive and I'm not sure if I'll have time, but I shall make time. I've wanted to do this for too long to give it up now!

Gonna listen to Tigers Jaw and play Neopets now.

To everyone matriculating this year like me, please savour your freedom now. Hope it's not just me feeling so sad that this is the last week already. cries

Bye

Our walls remain unrectified

(The best kind of compliments.)

Currently stuck in front of my laptop. Probably will be stuck here until bidding period ends at 5pm. #stressed #idontwannagobacktoschool #onlyoneweekleft

Should I watch a movie?? 

Our hopes and expectations / Black holes and revelations

Hey ho

1. Been trying to eat more lately cause my BMI is 16.56 and the internet says I am 'at risk of developing problems such as nutritional deficiency and osteoporosis.'

Crap. (so punny lol-ol)

2. I really wish I were friends with Alex Gaskarth.

I know, I know. Everyone wishes they were friends with their favourite celebrities, right?

But really. I watch a lot of ATL interviews and he just seems so damn relatable, and the things he says sounds like the kind of weird things I'd say if I were asked the same questions, and I am just so sad that I will never meet him and get to talk to him.

3. Happened to think of some funny moments in JC and I kind of miss those times, though I definitely don't miss the other parts like studying and the stress and chemlab omg I hated chem lab more than anything.

I never know what to do during experiements and I'm clumsy so I spill and break stuff more than the average student, like one time I couldn't pour the potassium manganate properly into the burette, and KMnO4 is this really dark purple solution that is basically impossible to wash off once you've stained it on something.

I remember getting it on my hands and school skirt and the wooden stool I placed the beaker on, and our then-chemistry teacher in J1 came over with her stony face and very calmly poured it all in for me, without spilling a drop.

It was embarrassing. But funny.

4. Tomorrow is gunna be an exciting day cause bidding for modules starts tomorrow. Going over bright and early to Lianne's house (reaching there by 8.30 omg) to bid online together. Hope we both get the modules we want!

Also, there's only a week left of holidays before school starts. I am so so very sad that the holidays are coming to an end. The two years of JC felt like forever (ok they passed quicker than I expected actually, but during those days it felt like forever) and the eight months of holidays zoomed past like nothing.

Nuuuu

If you keep asking me, I'll melt away in the summer air

(Meant to publish the following post six hours ago but low battery so I had to get home and charge first)


Ironic title because it's raining cats and dogs now but it's from my favourite Saosin song so who cares.

I'm at Starbucks and the interior is actually really pretty and through the glass you can see the rain and it's freezing in here because I neglected to bring a jacket.

I also really need to pee, but no one here looks like they can be trusted with my laptop.

Just finished watching the movie My Girl.

(SPOILER ALERT)

It's an amazing movie. Makes me wish I grew up in the nineties. I was trying so hard not to cry when Thomas Jay died. He's played by the very talented Macaulay Culkin. I think it's really sad what happened to Culkin in real life too. Child actors never have it easy.

Anyway, I just wanted to address something that's kind of been weighing on my mind for some time now:

Phones.

Are we too attached to our mobile devices? I guess it's a touchy topic, especially since it's a habit with most of my own close friends, but I feel like people shouldn't be overly comfortable with whipping out their mobile phones when they're out with other friends.

I don't know why but I feel bad if I use my phone in front of friends. I tend to put it in my bag once we meet, and if I happen to take it out later it's just to check for texts, and if I do have texts, I just read them and then put the phone away again to reply them later.

Admittedly, I am not a phone person. I don't like texting, and I can take forever to reply the simplest texts. If you want to chat, I'd rather you called me. I find chat-texting really awkward, especially if we're not close. (probably one of the many reasons why I'm still single hahahaha)

But anyway, I guess it's just a pet peeve.

It feels like this: If you're on your phone constantly while you're out with me, then I must be boring you.

Or: If you'd rather talk to other people while you're out with me, then why go out with me in the first place?

I often find myself in a situation where everyone at the table is busy scrolling through social media pages or replying texts, so I just look elsewhere or my mind wanders off, and finally they look up and say, lol what are you doing? Ha.

Of course, there are also a handful of people I know who are polite enough to say, "wait, sorry," when they do whatever they have to do on the phone, and then put the device away so they can pay full attention to you once they're done.

It sucks when someone just seems half-with you, and their other half is somewhere else with another person or even a bunch of other people.

Even if we're just sitting in silence, there's peacefulness, which is kind of broken when people whip out their phones. It's also a lot harder to strike up a conversation if people are on their phones, rather than if you're just sitting in comfortable silence.

Call me traditional, old-fashioned or lame, but I guess I just feel if I'm forking out time to be with you physically and mentally, then maybe you should do the same for me, too.

Yeh, that's all. Hope nobody took any offense at this

From up here the city lights burn like a thousand miles of fire

Random selfie again to entertain you all. 

I've been watching Luke Holland's drum covers and he's crazy good, like crazy crazy good, like drum prodigy kind of crazy good. Easily one of the best drummers in the world today, real pity I never heard of him until the APMAs (Alternative Press Music Awards, which is a load of crap btw, but more on that later) when Mike Fuentes won Best Drummer and there was a ton of comments on youtube about how Luke should've won. 

Why I'm saying the APMAs is crap is because it really was a popularity contest- winners were determined through voting and obviously the trendcore bands would've been taking home the bulk of the awards. PTV bagged three of them- Best Drummer, Best Bassist and Best Live Band- but I honestly felt like there were bands nominated who were more deserving of those awards, and that's coming from a fan. 

But I gotta admit they were probably most deserving of Best Live Band, out of those three awards. Everyone knows they tour like crazy and it's damn hard to keep up with a life like that, especially given the kind of music they perform. And their shows are amazing. 

I felt sad that My Chemical Romance lost to Black Veil Brides for Most Dedicated Fans, but I'm also happy for BVB because though I'm not a fan, no one can deny that they've an awesome fanbase. 

Best International Band: I really really felt like Silverstein should've won instead of BMTH but I might just be biased. 

Phil Manansala did not deserve Best Guitarist and I guess he knew that because he wasn't there to receive the award. 

Song of the Year nominees were absolutely shitty. It was like they got ATL and Vic to win on purpose. 

I love All Time Low- heck, I'm more than nuts about them- but there are lots of better songs out there that weren't nominated, and A Love Like War was only that well-received because it was a catchy pop song featuring both ATL and Vic Fuentes. 

Again, the APMAs were bull. Just a smart marketing tool. (hey it rhymes har har) 

Aneeways

Just came home today from a 3D2N staycation with Lum and SJ. It was actually quite a flop, probably cause we didn't really plan our stay properly and there were unforeseen circumstances. But it's alright, we still had fun! 

Felt like a mother of two today because I came home and my parents were lepak-ing in front of their respective laptops, and I had to go down to buy groceries and make tuna sandwiches for dinner for us. 

Which reminds me, last week my parents were saying that I wouldn't last long overseas in a foreign country because I can't cook at all, so over the week I made potato salad and cooked spaghetti. 

Doesn't sound like much but it was quite a feat for someone who's only ever boiled water in the kitchen. (Upper sec dinner date days at T's house with her and L don't count because they did most of the work haha) (The salad and spaghetti tasted quite good, if I may say so myself) 

Haha abrupt end bye

Washington

Wtf.

I just learnt that Washington D.C. is not a state.

Washington State is a state all on the way on the opposite end of the country, west coast, up north. It's full of luscious greenery and awesome scenery.

Washington D.C. is a federal district situated on land formerly belonging to the east coast states of Virginia and Maryland. It's full of city people in city clothes who smoke cigarettes and drink coffee. D.C. stands for District of Columbia.

I've been living a lie.

Edit: I just questioned my parents about this and they knew. They knew. They have conspired to deceive me. 

Ermahgerd

And if I could trade, I would

Somehow the picture looks filtered. Taken before I went out Saturday. 

My mom was more excited about it than I was and kept coming to me with her own 'face paint', since I only let her approach me with a brush once a year, during chinese new year. 

I wiped off her lipstick though, I felt a little bad about it haha ohwell

Anyways, did you know that there are natural black roses? They grow in a very small number during the summer in a small Turkish village called Halfeti, and were on the verge of extinction some time ago. They are able to grow there due to unique soil conditions and the pH levels of the groundwater. 

Was thinking about an old song I wrote and there was something about black roses in it so I googled them. 

Miss playing with my band!

We've got guns hidden under our petticoats

Hearing is all screwed up now haha can't even listen to my favourite Skillet songs properly.

Went clubbing last night with my JC classmates. It was my first time and it was a whole lot more fun than I expected!

Met Shijia for supper at 18 chefs' in town and we met with the others at somewhere outside Zouk to drink. I remembered what Tania said about clubbing not being fun once you're over your high, so I made sure to drink more than I usually did hahaha

And ya, it was just fun, I don't even know why, but being half-drunk and dancing is just fun haha it's so weird because I used to judge people for clubbing but now I suddenly get it haha

We stuck together as a group and held hands whenever we had to go anywhere, and cause there was about ten of us, we formed a long chain and probably annoyed people (I think I almost knocked the drink out of a guy's hand, he looked rightfully pissed) passing us, it was quite funny.

The guys were also unexpectedly nice, taking care of us, forming a circle when we danced, passing around OJ, water and ice cubes because by that point no one looked like they could take anymore alcohol haha

Left around 3.40am and crashed at Bryan's house. Everyone looked so shagged in the morning hahaha.

My legs feel pretty sore now and I've bruises I've no recollection of incurring.

And I'm super sleepy. And it's only 2.32pm.

So Wrong, It's Right

Listening to this and... the feels. Much warm. Very fuzzy.

Crazy how I still remember every word.

I love this album because it makes me feel like summer all the time isn't such a bad thing at all, and it just makes me so happy, and happy, and happy.

I walk a fine line between the right and the real
They watch me closely but talk is cheap here
Like a weightless currency your words don't mean shit to me
I'm always cashing in
Take me, show me, the corners of your empty room
The trouble we could get into
Just fake it for me
Disregard the footsteps and we'll never tell a soul

Tonight I'm finding a way 

To make the things that you say just a little less obvious

I confess

Tonight I'm dressed up in gold

You've got me fucked up and sold

You talk like you're famous

You're shameless

Damnation free for all

Hi kiddies

So yesterday morning I met Lianne for Macs breakfast at Pasir Ris. Twas good satisfying my junk food craving.

Decided to meet SJ after that at Tamp, so while waiting for her to get ready, I helped Lianne carry groceries back to her block. #friendoftheyear

Had drums at 4pm as usual and it was kind of a filler lesson I think cause I didn't learn anything new and my misanthropic psychology major teacher (Don't ask me why but I keep referring to him as that in my head, it just fits his unusual personality so well) just told me to 'keep doing what you're doing.'

Ok.

Oh and, I went in early as usual to prepare, and the malay guy at the counter (I've seen at least five different people at the same counter so far and I'm starting to wonder if they actually have a receptionist or they're secretly all just teachers taking turns to sit there) said, "Zoey, right?" with his usual big smile. Don't think I've ever seen him stop smiling, but it's not creepy, just a friendly smile.

And I said yeah, and he took out the check-in form thingy that I sign every lesson, and said, "Good choice. If I were you I'd call myself Zoey too."

Pinoy lady next to him (also another dubious receptionist) laughed and said, "Why, you like the name?"

And he said, "Yeah, it's a nice name!" and after a moment of silence, "Why not Zo?"

But by then I'd already walked away into the studio, though I could still hear them, and lady said, "Zo's gone," and they both chortled, and I dumbly walked out and stood there again HAHA most awkward thing I've ever done I swear, cause I didn't know what to do since it was obvious I heard them and it would be rude to ignore them right?

But fortunately the guy didn't really realise what I did, and said, "Oh you can go ahead inside and practise first."

Hahahahaha

Anddd that's all.

Also, I just realised that our parents keep our passports to stop us from running away and not purely for the innocuous reason of safekeeping?!

Or is it just my parents hahaha. It only hit me when I collected my new passport the other day and passed it to my dad at home, and he joked, "Yeah, I better keep it so you can't run away."

Hrmmm.

For Baby L

Woke up this morning and first thing I did was kill a baby lizard on accident. I felt so bad :(

Literally the first thing I did. I hadn't even brushed my teeth and I got up and went to the living room to open the window and there was a baby lizard on the glass, webbed feet employing van der Waals' forces to hold on to the almost frictionless glass...

Instantly I reverted back to being a kid and started opening and closing the window just to freak out the poor thing, and partly because I didn't want it to crawl into the house, and it looked like it wanted to do just that.

Then I got bored, wandered off to find some other aimless crap to do, came back again and saw Baby L was gone from where I'd last seen it, so I opened and closed the window one final time to spook it again.

There was no sickening crunch or a sinking feeling, just a flash of brown like something had fallen from the window, and I looked at the windowsill and there it was- Baby L in his final moments, his neck red, webbed toes up in the air.

Rest in peace, my friend. I'm sorry you had to go like that. May you be reborn as a more fortunate animal, where your death would mean a little something more to more than a few souls, and possibly spark a couple of eulogies or jail time for a fellow being...

I walk along these no-name streets

It's 1.07pm and I haven't eaten anything all day. 

Was clearing my stuff just now. 

I have this chest of drawers that sits on top of my study table and there is a hierachy system: most treasured posessions go into the top drawer; meh/dontknowwhattodowiththem items into the second; junk that will probably never see daylight again into the third. 

The first drawer is actually full of stuff from my best friend from primary school, but we don't see each other anymore which is really sad. We used to exchange gifts and letters and cool stuff (well, stuff that used to be cool) all the time so I saved that drawer for all those BFF things. 

There's even a nicely-preserved leaf from a tree from the old condo we used to live in, where we met and played together as kids. We were talking about us graduating and me moving away, and she picked two leaves from a tree and gave one to me, kept the other for herself, as a memoir. 

Anyway, so all the concert ticket stubs, wristbands and polaroids go in the top drawer, and there's all kinds of gunk in the second drawer, like a thermometer, keychains, old pens that've dried up, old wallets, and various stuff that could've come in useful at some point of your life or another, that make you say, "Dang it! Could've used this for....." when you pick em up. 

There are old brochures, official letters and pamphlets, a silverfish - jesus christ - and hairties, old phone covers...

I also found an AHS class chairperson's badge which is really weird because I don't recall ever being a class chairperson. 

There was my O Level entry proof too! It stank like hell. 

Also discovered an L-shaped piece of metal in a plastic casing, pretty sure it's a tuning fork but Google gave no answers as to which instrument it might be used for. 

Starting to feel hungry now. Bye! 

The sun swallowed me

Tigers Jaw's self-titled full album. Jess said I had to listen to this so I did and it's absolutely wonderful. God bless her taste in music. And, just look at that album cover. Pizza. 

Aneeways. I haven't been blogging much mainly because there's nothing much to blog about haha life has been the same old.

Had drums last Thursday where I learned new stuff, but I felt so mad that I couldn't play the snare right like my teacher told me to. Not mad at him or anybody, just felt mad at myself, which I suppose is pretty irrational since these things take time, but I have no patience. Probably why I've never gotten very far with any instrument haha but let's not go into that

Went out on Saturday with Lum and SJ to a flea at Scape. Fleas are not my thing, but I still had a great time with the two of them :) Our crazy fun times in JC are the only reason why I'd ever miss school. Also saw a gorgeous pair of brand new denim shoes that only cost 30 and would probably go for 107 in Rockstar, but they were almost sold out and there wasn't my size. Life's a biatch.

Spent Sunday at home, half-lazing around, half-doing chores since my mom went out with my dad to his old class gathering. My dad's a smart guy and went to HC and NUS (according to him, going to the U was a pretty big thing in those days since back then there was only one U in the entire country) so all his old classmates are pretty accomplished people and have super smart kids.

Apparently one kid is my age and scored straight As for A Levels, and his subjects included 4 H2s and a H3. I hate people like that. (Well, I don't really, but you get what I mean.)

Dad kept asking me to tag along to the gathering but no way. (It was fortunate I didn't go in the end because apparently no one else brought their kids)

Random: There's an angmoh with his local friend at the next table and he's speaking better Chinese than I do, wtf.

Yesterday I rotted again at home, and went down to the music school to practise for an hour in the afternoon. Still couldn't get the thingy quite right. Dang.

Today I went to collect my passport at the ICA (I kept thinking it was called the IRA, then I realised what the IRA meant. Oops.)

Had lunch at Ajisen, and now I'm at CBTL. Again. Haha. See what I meant about life being the same old?

My Drew Perry book, Kids These Days, turned out kind of boring. Maybe it's just not my kinda book. It's about this guy called Walter who sold everything and moved down to Florida, and is expecting a child with his wife Alice, and gets tangled up with his drug-dealing brother-in-law's shady businesses.

I find Walter's character paranoid to an extent that's not even comical, or maybe it's supposed to be but I'm just not feelin it. He's so terrified of parenthood I don't know why he even agreed to it in the first place.

But I'm already almost at the end of the book so maybe I'll just finish it.

K bye

Walking disaster

(Warning: Mostly a music-related post)

Oh gawd I've been listening to Thank You & Goodnight by Tonight Alive for ages without realising Mark Hoppus was featured in it. I just kinda assumed it was one of the TA guys singing the second verse. I am terrible.

Anyway, thoughts on Tonight Alive ahead.

TA is one of those bands that I listen to a lot but I've never really considered them one of my favourite bands. I love their stuff and all but it's just catchy. They don't really put out many deep, heartfelt songs that make me fall head over heels for them. (Like Brand New's stuff. Brand New is one of those bands that you'd want to keep very close to your heart and never let anyone hear about them)

Their songs are definitely fun, relatable and extremely likeable. But I feel like that's not always a good thing, because it makes them nothing more than just a fad, or a trend, and if they don't try to come up with something classic, they'll always be lumped in with the whole fresh-faced pop-punk band phase thing.

I think Tonight Alive's looks, in general, were what got them signed in the first place. They're all young and ridiculously good-looking, and I think the label probably recognised their marketability.

But the more I listened to TA, the more I kind of realised how talented these guys were. The drummer, Matt Best, stood out the most, for me. His drumming is so clean! I absolutely love his drumming. He's probably my favourite drummer, right after Rian Dawson and of course, Travis Barker. (Ok, I know there are tons more of great drummers out there, but let's just narrow it down to this 'scene'.) Yeah, that's how underrated I think he is.

Then I listened more, and now I kind of feel like the band's great on a whole because everyone's so talented. I just think they should try other things and not stick to pop punk, because it's a great genre- it's one of my favourite genres- but it's going to die out someday. I'm sure there must be other kinds of music they'd love to try.

I think my only problem with the band, other than the lack of originality, is Jenna's voice. I'm really sorry to say it, because I love her and I think she's super gorgeous and has an amazing personality, but she tends to be pitchy. I've seen comments and watched their live videos. Her tone is flawless and she's very cut out to do what she does, but she could use a little work on her pitch. Still, she's very charismatic and judging from their videos, I'd say she's made a lot of improvement as a frontwoman.

And yehhh. That's all.

Oh, it's 12.00am, happy 'official' birthday Lynchua!!! Love you many many, don't think you'll see this actually haha but I hope you have a really awesome year because you deserve it and I hope you liked my letter!!

It's almost mid-July already, this is so scary :(

I have so many mixed feelings about starting school again, but let's save that for another blog post.

Good night all!

Kristy, are you doing okay?

I love Dexter Holland's voice. It's like he was made for what he does, you know? I tried singing Self Esteem the other day and I was breathless by the second verse. Might've been cause I wasn't singing right but it still proves he's got a great range.

I'm at Costa now, but it's the one at 313. My coffee's gone cold :( I would be eternally grateful if someone could invent something that would keep coffee warm. Not a tumbler, just something that would keep having-here coffee warm... (wrap-round easy-to-carry styrofoam??) Alright, this is going nowhere.

I'm wearing a new top. Got it from Bangkok, and it's super light and comfy, like I'm barely wearing anything. Haha. I luv it. I think I got it because the design reminded me of something pretty I saw on Tumblr.

Anyways, I'm here to talk about the book, The Boy Who Could See Demons by Carolyn Jess-Cooke. So the story revolves around a highly intelligent, emotionally sensitive ten-year-old called Alex Connolly, who claims he can see demons, one of whom is his 'best friend', Ruen.

The story is set in Belfast, Northern Ireland, a place deeply impacted by NI's violent past, and where children take on the brunt of the psychological effects of the war. Alex lives with his dysfunctional mother, Cindy, who plunged into depression after Alex's father 'left', in one of the roughest parts of Belfast.

Cindy has attempted suicide four times, and each time was rescued by Alex. Anya Molokov is a trained child psychiatrist assigned to Alex's case. She has to work closely with Alex's social worker, Michael Jones, who is dedicated to what he does, but unlike Anya, advocates the idea of keeping Alex in his home environment with his mother, as he believes it would be beneficial to the two of them to stay together.

Anya herself has lost a young daughter, Poppy, to early-onset schizophrenia, and is haunted by memories of her and the belief that she failed her because she was unable to save Poppy despite her training. She recognises similar symptoms in Alex, and is determined to help him receive proper treatment. As the story progresses, Anya starts to wonder if Alex is truly ill, or if he really has a special gift.

(SPOILER ALERT)

In the end, after a dramatic turn of events, Anya wakes up in hospital after a blackout when Alex tries to kill her and then himself. Michael is with her, and when she asks him if Alex is alive, he reveals that Alex does not exist.

Michael is not a social worker, and is in fact a fellow child psychiatrist who noticed signs of psychosis in Anya after Poppy's death. He has been doing his best to help her recover, but despite his efforts, Anya developed delusions and created Alex in her mind, a young boy with symptoms similar to Poppy's. Cindy, a mother too wrapped up in her problems to consider the impact her illness had on Alex, is a manifestation of Anya's guilt- her belief that her own incapabilities as a mother led to her daughter's suicide.

So all in all, I'd say it was a great read cause it was pretty riveting, but I just felt so asdfghjkl in the end when I found out Alex didn't exist, especially since most of the book was narrated through his perspective, in the form of a diary. It was entirely believable. Carolyn, you have deceived me. Oh yes, it was revealed Alex's diary was written by Anya while she was having delusions.

The ending reminded me a lot of Shutter Island, though. I was half-expecting Michael to say, "Haven't you noticed Alex's full name is an anagram of yours?"

Now I'm on to another book, Kids These Days by Drew Perry.

And... abrupt end haha bye

With a thousand lies and a good disguise

Nihao

Ok I'm gonna just speed-write a quick post cause I'm meeting Lianne at 12 (TANIA it's cause we're gonna do registration online for LPP! Haha) and sooo I have approximately 40 minutes left. I haven't even showered or packed my bagggg.

I don't remember what I did from Wednesday to Friday last week. I think I just stayed home and read my book and played Neopets hahaha. I had drums on Thursday though, and it was GR8 cause I finally got to play something other than the snare heh heh

But recently I can't help worrying about how I'm gonna cope when uni starts, cause there's school and German and drums and most probably band too... Oh well, when there's a will there's a way right?

Saturday was a busy day. Went with Carmen and Haoran to this Cosplay event at E!Hub. Carmen was cosplaying as a basketball player! (crap just realised I forgot to reply her text) I know nuts about anime but I thought I'd just go to have a look and to support a dear friend.

It was pretty kool. I never realised how huge the cosplaying scene in Singapore is, but maybe like Carmen said, it's a big event so. There were so many people dressed in anime character costumes (predictably, none that I knew of hahaha) and the atmosphere was pretty overwhelming.

But I thought it was amazing to see all the various costumes, and some of them, you can just tell from a glance, were painstakingly made, with a great deal of effort put into every single minute detail. It almost felt like an art exhibition haha except that almost all the subjects and visitors were teenagers. I think most of them there were younger than us.

Left around mid-afternoon to go find Shijia at her workplace at TK Road and show some support for her too haha I had a waffle with honey milk tea ice-cream (I always tell myself to be less boring and try new ice-cream flavours but every time there's milk tea in the selection I just can't resist) and it was goood but it might've been cause I was hungry.

- It's 11.35 now, I think I'll continue this later, ciao -

- Heyho I'm back-

At Starbucks now with Lianne. We just decided on our modules and did our best to schedule our lessons together HAHA I'm really glad to say my timetable looks really awesome so let's just hope I get the lecture groups and tutorial slots I want!

Anyway, back to Saturday. Started on a new book that day, it's called The Boy Who Could See Demons, by Carolyn Jess-Cooke. I've finished it already, it's a really really good book but it made me so frustrated (I just Googled 'the proper word for ugh'), but more on that later.

After Shijia was done with work we headed to town to meet Dom, Linus and Jinx. Had dinner at Spagheddies (??) at Orchard Central which was pretty decent. Servings were generous, perhaps too generous cause most of us couldn't finish our food haha

Went to Acid Bar next to Centre Point across the road for a beer. I don't get why bars have to be so dark haha.

It was a pretty interesting night, talked about stuff and JC in general. Reached home at 12.30 and conked out.

Spent Sunday lazing around as usual. It occurs to me that I only have about three or four Sundays left to waste away :( It was a rainy day and I drank tea and watched Juno and listened to Covette. Pure bliss.

Juno the movie was not as good as I remembered. The first time I watched it I remember finding Juno cool, but now that I watch it I realise how immature she actually is. Her mom was trying to teach her that it wasn't a good idea for her to spend time alone with a married man, and all she did was flare up and say, "Do you know how hard (being pregnant) is for me?" Which was completely off-topic.

Also finished my book yesterday.

Ok bye cause Lianne's overly-eager to read this

I've been livin' for tomorrows all my life

At CBTL now.

Never liked CBTL because their cakes and coffee all taste like diabetes (though today I ordered a espresso vanilla latte and it was potent) but no choice because it's the closest and most convenient coffee place to my house. -cries-

And Starbucks is just shitty, so no way I'd go there unless I'm really desperate. (Ok maybe I just hold a grudge because they have a strict no-studying policy, so damn discriminatory ugh)

So lemme recap the last few days

Went to Ikea last Friday with Lianne for lunch (we always over-order when we go out hahahha) and it was, I think, the first time we didn't spam pictures at all the display rooms, we just walked past them calmly like cool, mature young adults hahahahah

I remember when the three of us would go to Ikea all the time back in our upper sec days and take the most wuliao pictures HAHA good times man

Played with the cat at her block's void deck. It's super cute!!! I love tri-coloured cats.

Then we watched 21 Jump Street at her house, I thought it was pretty lame but Lianne thought it was not bad. We laughed like crazy at some stuff, check out her latest post at catchingaeroplanes.blogspot.com

(Some angmoh just took a seat right opposite me in the virtually empty CBTL, erm.)

On Saturday I went down to NUS alone to sign up for orientation, cause Lianne was overseas with her boyfwen. The long MRT ride to Buona feels even longer without company!

The last time I went with L, I remember we were talking about LPP (more than that later!!) and she'd signed up for French LPP while I signed up for German LPP.

And somehow we started stringing together random French words to try to form a sentence and it was damn funny HAHAHA I'm laughing just thinking about it.

"Bonjour, pasta linguine deja vu luncheon, madamoiselle?" 

HAHAHA excuse our poor sense of humour

So I finally reached UTown. It was ten minutes after registration officially opened, and the queue was already a horrifying mile long omg. I expected a queue but the queue I saw... it exceeded expectations. Had to queue for a dreadful two hours. Thankfully I didn't have to queue alone cause I met Daine and Jiawen :)

(Another reason to never come to CBTL again, their wifi sucks and I keep getting disconnected every fifteen minutes.)

Went to Star Vista for lunch, then headed to Baybeats alone. It was the second day! Saw three bands: Lost Weekend, a conventional pop rock group, False Plaintiff, a metalcore band, and wyd:syd, an indie band.

My favourite was Lost Weekend, kind of surprisingly. They were really good. False Plaintiff was also great but unfortunately I'm past my metalcore phase. wyd:syd was my least favourite, just not my cup of tea. But they were probably good in a sense.

Bumped into Christine too! She was with a whole group of her friends ha ha awkward though I didn't meet them. Why don't I have any friends who like going to gigs :( (other than Jessica, my lifesaver when it comes to anything band-related)

Sunday was stay-home day, as usual.

OH and yes, yesterday Lianne and I found out we got into LPP!!! YAYY HAHA like she said, totally makes up for not getting into orientation. (Yes, queued for two hours only to be put on the waiting list hahahaha life sux) I literally jumped for joy when I saw the email hahaha. Texted my mom, "I got into LPP!" and all she replied was "Congrats!" Haha ye apathy runs in the family.

Had sinful food all day yesterday too. Fried beehoon with veggie and a chicken drumstick for brunch. The chicken was damn disgusting, it tasted weird somehow and I threw away the whole thing.

And it was frigging $4.20 wts! $2 at most for the beehoon + 50c for the vegg + a dollar for the drumstick does not add up to $4.20. The beady-eyed auntie prolly knew I was a pushover and would pay quietly and go home to sulk about not having the balls to stand up to her.

Starting to feel hungry now. Bye


(edit: just realised I forgot to remove my bullet points HAHA so embarrassing)

(oh, not bad, managed to churn out a long-ish post today)