When the walls caved in we only had ourselves to blame

I'm sooo shagged right now.

I spent the day studying with Jiams at coffee bean, kallang leisure park, and it was soo productive I can't even believe it myself!

We calculated; minus travelling time, lunch breaks and a couple of toilet breaks, we spent a total of five hours on hardcore mugging.

I am so proud of myself! So I guess the tiredness is all worth it.

I'm really worried for my econs and math exams though, especially math. We've had a couple of math tests and one math CA so far and I've gotten nothing but U grades :'(

I must get at least an E this time! I must pass~

Next few days are gonna be really busy. Tomorrow morning melons are meeting up for bball; it's rare that all four of us can make it! :) Then I have to mug. (again sigh)

Sunday I'll be meeting with my new band (we're calling ourselves Hit & Run) for jamming. I'm totally itching to jam, I haven't been a studio since me, J and N met with the other band :(

Hopefully my new bandmates are nice! :)

Monday there's (I think) dinner with the hard rock hotel girls. Oh yes that reminds me, we made a video called "8 things not to do in a hotel" during our stay in hard rock hotel. Idk if I've mentioned it before!

It was so fun and I very nearly laughed my ass off when I saw the video that Lianne's finally gotten round to editing about a week ago.

If you're interested you can find the video yourself on Emily's blog emichok.blogspot.com It's one of the latest posts I thinkkk.

It's super funny to me but maybe because I remember all the funny outtakes and things we did in hard rock while watching the video. Ahhh I can't wait for the next time we can party like that again! (prolly only after promos or 'A's :(

Ok guys time to bathe!

BYE

~

I'd Hate To Be You When You Find Out What This Song Is About

Gonna start studying in three minutes!

It's the guilt kicking in; I spent yesterday lazing around. I played with my phone, then slept on the floor in the afternoon for about an hour, and at night I took out my econs book, sat there and read wattpad.

-facepalm-

I've been reading... Well, I can't remember the title but it's about this extremely musically talented girl called Keely Staub with an amazing voice and great skill at the guitar.

And she gets talent-scouted and signed to a label and eventually falls for her producer, Seth Ryan. Blah blah blah, the latest update is about her getting a terrible throat infection and possibly losing her voice.

How can I possibly miss out on that!  So yeah, I couldn't resist reading until 11.30pm, then I got tired and went to sleep.

I had tuition at 10am today. My mom woke me up at 9.30am and I felt like a zombie when I first got out of bed. I really couldn't think properly at all and my eyes were barely open.

I kept yawning throughout tuition, I feel so bad for my tutor haha. Then my mom cooked potato soup for lunch, yumzzz.

And you dropped the note and we changed key
You changed yourself and I changed me
I really didn't see us singing through this
Then you screamed the bridge and I cried the verse
And our chorus came out unrehearsed
Then you smiled the whole way through it
I guess that's what's worth it.

Ich liebe dieses lied :)

BYE

~

With a guitar in our hands, and rock in our hearts

Went to watch Snow White with Lianne on monday night :) It was much better than I expected! I really didn't like Kristen Stewart as Snow White; I still think her acting is terrible.

But all in all, it was a good movie. Classic fairytale, never gets old :) I love the twist though! (no spoilers here haha don't worry)

Yesterday I went to the airport to study with Jiams and Elaine! It was pretty productive for a group study, even though I didn't manage to finish what I wanted to study that day.

It was also fun! Me and Jiams had a lunch break and collectively ate a bowl of tomyum soup with a plate of rice, one plate of hokkien mee and one plate of western food- chicken, potatoes and coleslaw.

They were all generous servings too. Me and Jiams were so full after that, and I wasn't hungry until about four hours later, which is really a feat for me.

We left the airport around 9pm. Jiams tweeted later 'It was a day well spent' and I totally agree :')

But dt didn't come :( We need to have a full melons outing soon!

At night I was chatting on whatsapp with Ali and somehow I ended up playing Payphone on guitar and singing to him on the phone, and I made him rap the Wiz Khalifa verse hahaha we were both damn shy, it was hilarious.

I honestly don't even remember what we talked about but we were on the phone for 3 hours and I kept wanting to go sleep but he'd remind me that he's leaving for an 18-day holiday in the US in like 2 days.

Going to miss my bestie a lot. He's not bringing his phone too so no means of communication until school reopens :(

Have a good time Ali! Mug hard so you don't retain otherwise I will roast you alive. (though I don't think he reads my blog)

Pictures below :)

BYE

~

The reckless and the brave

Look what I drew!
I spent my evening on this yesterday.

I completely forgot how much I used to love drawing. I'd draw and draw and draw because as a kid you have all the time in the world for hobbies. My mom would always chide me for wasting paper :(

BYE

~

Where would we be if we couldn't dream?

I'm currently blogging using this blogger app I never knew existed! Seriously, this makes things so much easier for me haha.

So yesterday was the big day for TPJC symphonic winds, guzheng ensemble and guitar ensemble! We had a joint performing arts concert held in the school auditorium, 7-10pm :)

I'll be honest, the day didn't start off too well :/ I didn't really feel excited, and we had to change into our costumes at only 1pm, lord knows why.

I hated the gown haha. It's not the design or anything; I just really couldn't stand wearing it. Not to mention I had to walk around barefooted most of the time because the short heels I borrowed from a cousin were extremely uncomfortable and they were causing blisters.

Not trying to sound mean or anything, but dinner was really awful. My guitar girls all agreed too.

After hours of just sitting around, putting on makeup, chatting, rehearsing and briefing, finally we got backstage around 9pm.

Guitar was the last cca to perform. I didn't feel nervous at all, in fact I was just bored. Then there was a round of applause coming from the audience for the guzheng ensemble, and suddenly, just like that, my heart went into overdrive.

I honestly have no idea why it chose to do so at that moment. It was so out of the blue.

We were quickly gathered onstage behind the closed curtains while Minki and DJC performed in front, then they were done and the curtains drew open.

I completely forgot about the seniors telling us to smile while onstage. I did have fun playing the pieces though.

I got the worst seat ever haha. It was a corner seat, right next to the audience, AND the conductor was seated right next to me. He was so close, I could have knocked him with the top of my guitar anytime I chose to.

Monky Blues went smoothly but I did play a couple of wrong notes for Tea For Two. The conductor would look at me and I'd look back at him sheepishly haha.

The part after the concert was, in my opinion, the best part of the day.

We met up with our class outside the guitar room and I was shocked because I honestly didn't expect that so many of 12S16 would come to support us! :') Huiyi also gave me a flower, which made me really touched!

We camwhored and then most of us went home while some of the guys went to have a late dinner.

I sat at the bus stop alone for a long time waiting for the bus but I didn't feel lonely at all; I felt happy :)

Great job to symphonic winds, guzheng, guitar; everyone who performed yesterday! And thanks to the 400+ people who showed up, we really appreciate it. Big hugs! xo

BYE

~

Jimmy died today, he blew his brains out into the bay

Letterbomb by Green Day is amazing. Well, everything in American Idiot is. The whole album is a masterpiece. 

It's on days like these that I feel like a baked potato. The weather is terrible, ugh. But honestly I'd much rather face the heat than the cold. On hot days you can buy ice-cream, escape to malls and cinemas or turn on the air-con. On cold days there's really nowhere to run to because Singapore just never really prepares for cold days. 

Maybe we can bundle up in sweaters and hoodies or buy hot coffee, but our cold days usually also mean rain, and I hate rain :( Maybe hate is too strong a word; I like rain occasionally, but that's when I'm indoors and I don't intend to go out. If it rains, my mood for the day is usually ruined and I won't feel like doing anything but staying at home to listen to music. 

I just wrote two whole paragraphs about the weather. Oh no I'm becoming boring hahaha. 

I'm quite tired these few days, but it's really no wonder. We've been having lessons from 8am to 5pm the past three days; it's our holiday extra lessons, and the timetable was even worse than what we usually have on normal school days. I don't even end that late on normal school days. 

The guitar concert is this saturday too, so after lessons ended at 5pm, I had to go for guitar rehearsals till about 8-ish, and by the time I reached home it'd be about 10pm, and I'd be much too tired to do any of my pile of homework. It's not just normal homework either; the teachers have been dunking everything on us in preparation for SAs and there was really no time to do anything at all. 

So yeah, I'm so relieved Term 2 is finally over and the june holidays are here. While I was having tuition just now, my tutor was telling me how fast JC life is going to pass; it's already been half a year since I entered JC, and soon june, july and august will flash by, and I'll be busy preparing for my October promo exams, then after our two-month end-year break, it'll be a whole new year again. 

It's so scary how everything is coming towards me at full speed. Can I just stay sixteen forever? :'(

Anyway, random funny incident that happened yesterday. We were in the guitar room and they handed out gowns for the girls and blazers for the guys that we have to wear on saturday. 

I went to the toilet to try on my gown and I had a really hard time putting it on, I was sooo pissed at the gown because I was trying my best to keep it above the dirty toilet floor and I had no idea whether to step into it or pull it above my head. I also couldn't squeeze into it so I spent about ten minutes in the cubicle trying to figure out how to put it on. 

In the end Maria came in to help me and, guess what, I didn't unzip the gown entirely hahaha seriously, silly me. 

BYE

~

Leader Of The Band

An only child, alone and wild
A cabinet maker's son
His hands were meant for different work
And his heart was known to none

He left his home and went his lone and solitary way
And he gave to me a gift I know I never can repay

A quiet man of music, denied a simpler fate
He tried to be a soldier once
But his music wouldn't wait
He earned his love through discipline
A thundering, velvet hand
His gentle means of sculpting souls
Took me years to understand

The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band

My brother's lives were different
For they heard another call
One went to Chicago, and another to St. Paul
And I'm in Colorado
When I'm not in some hotel
Living out this life I've chose
And come to know so well

The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band

I thank you for the music
And your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom
When it came my time to go
I thank you for the kindness
And the times when you got tough
And, papa, I don't think I said
'I love you' near enough

The leader of the band is tired
And his eyes are growing old
But his blood runs through my instrument
And his song is in my soul
My life has been a poor attempt
To imitate the man
I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band

I am a living legacy
To the leader of the band

~

I kind of grew up listening to this song, I've known it since I was about ten or eleven and I knew all the words but I didn't really understand it until I was older. See what I love about old songs are the lyrics, they're just so deep, when you read them it feels like poetry.

Today was a pretty monotonous day. The highlight of my day was buying a guitar capo, I think that proves a lot.

I realise I didn't blog about my trip to Batam with 12S16. It was pretty fun overall, and the trip to the Al Jabar Orphanage was meaningful in a lot of subtle ways.

I actually think I learnt the most from the fifteen-minute bus ride there. In a bus around a foreign place, you can really tell a lot of things. Everything around you is a story.

I remember seeing a lot of graffiti around. The roads were narrow, so a family of three on a motorbike had to turn into the main street dangerously close to our bus. Their little girl had dust on her face and was in pajamas. Most of the people there are either really thin, or pot-bellied from alcohol.

But overall it was fine, the air smelt okay most of the time and the streets weren't as dirty as I expected. The kids in the orphanage were all really different. Some of the kids just refused to cooperate. I remember one little boy of about four or five who tried to spit on a girl's drawing while I was right there next to them.

I kind of expected the little girl (who was definitely older than him, she was about seven) to retalliate or at least say something, but she just sat there quietly and looked back at him while he used his hands and feet to smudge her drawing.

And it definitely wasn't pure playfulness coming from the boy. He would stare at her while he destroyed her drawing deliberately, like he was trying to challenge her or provoke a reaction out of her. I intervened and gently took the girl's drawing away from his reach, and he actually raised his hand in the manner a parent would do to a child, like he was threatening to hit me.

It was definitely scary, not because of his 'threat', but because it was coming from a kid that young. God knows who might have influenced him that much, and that negatively. In all honesty, I feel really sorry for him.

But it was really touching how some of the other children in the orphanage behaved. The older kids helped to watch out for the younger ones. Some of the younger kids came in late, looking lost, and an older one would stand up and lead the kid to a spot beside him or her.

While playing games, the older children also gave way to the younger children to let them win. It was extremely sweet :)

I would have loved to talk to the kids more but it was the language barrier that prevented us from bonding with the kids :( Still, I think I learnt quite a bit from those two days in Batam. It was definitely something different.

Not gonna lie though, I felt relieved coming back to Singapore because I missed the good life here. After getting down from the ferry some of us went to VivoCity for dinner and I felt happy seeing all the familiar clothes brands in Vivo- F21, Zara, River Island, Warehouse and all that.

Sometimes when I go overseas I can't help but wonder how my life would be different; how it would have turned out had I been born elsewhere. What if that little house on the corner of that street in Batam was mine? What if that girl in school uniform over there on the subway in Taiwan was me?

Yeahh, #justsaying

BYE

~

Sorry honey but I'm passing up; now look this way

Starbucks on a hot day :)

Y'know, I'm actually starting to feel the pressure set in for my SAs. For CAs it didn't feel so bad because it was only a few chapters for each subject but now I'm so lost in every subject. In class I just can't seem to focus, I'm lagging behind in homework and I just feel so tired everyday.

The worst part of school is not PE lessons now (did I mention I got a Gold for my NAPFA test? I'm so proud of myself! The last time I got a Gold was like in primary school!) it is in fact Math lectures. During past Math lectures I would dream about taking my bright yellow math book and flinging it far far away from me... (and I'd probably whack someone right in the head during the process, given my terrible aiming)

Now, I've surrendered to the fact that I'll probably never understand a single thing in math lectures. I simply sit there and copy everything our lecturer writes down on her smartscreen. It makes me a much happier person, and also helps preserve my brain cells.

And, the weather's not helping either. It's the middle of May and the summertime of all summertimes in sunny little Singapore. When I'm outside, I sometimes wonder if I have higher odds of melting into a puddle or evaporating into thin air. Yes, it's that bad. Screw the weather :(

I know I moan about this in almost every post but seriously I miss secondary school!! I miss everything being so simple and everyone being much less judgemental and learning being much more fun. I miss my sec4 class too. I miss little Lifang who'd always be there for me! I still call her once in a while and we chat for close to an hour every time though we can never find time to meet up :'(

I also miss Yueyao! Thanks to her, I never really had a bad day in upper sec. I don't think I'll ever find someone as funny as her; sometimes I feel like all I ever do with her is laugh!

Ok enough with the sad stuff haha. Batam OCIP trip with #12S16 is tomorrow :) We've been doing a lot of preparation for the trip because we'll be visiting an orphanage. Today me and the sexy bitches Huiyi and Divika stayed back in class to wrap goodie bags for the 45 kids we'll be meeting. And btw I'm not kidding, our whatsapp group name is really the Sexy Bitches.

It was so fun haha we played music and worked like a factory. We started off dumping all the goodies from their respective packets onto a row of tables, and then picking them out into 45 bags from there. It was crazy when we first opened up everything; the tables were just covered in all sorts of candy *__*

Huiyi and I also planned to go to Temasek Poly after we were done because there was some sort of fair there and her friends were there, but sadly we were too late, the whole thing closed at 5 :( So when we were done I lugged a humongous bag of some of the goodie bags home while Huiyi took home two bags, poorthing!

We were really lucky Wenfu came up to the classroom to say hi while we were packing up and we got him to take one bag home haha, otherwise I would've been lugging two big bags of goodie bags home and idk how I would've managed because one was really bad enough :/

Before that, while we were in class doing the goodie bags I looked out the window and saw him downstairs so I popped my head out and yelled 'WENFU!' before ducking behind the window. It felt so nostalgic for a second because I used to do that all the time in AHS ahaha (ok I need to stop linking everything back to sec school)

So yes, I got stared at all the way from the time I left the classroom to at the bus stop to on the bus to walking home because the bag full of goodie bags I was carrying was simply huge haha.

Not to mention the weather made me want to kill a chicken. All the way home, I felt like I had so much in common with an ice cube in an oven. It's so hot, there's actually a haze hovering outside in the distance when I look out my window sigh.

On a more serious note, I'm sure everyone who's Singaporean has read about (or at least heard about) the major accident involving a speeding Ferrari at midnight and two innocent people in a cab.

Scary how life just gets taken away like that. One second you're here and the next second you're not. I bet the poor Japanese girl in the back of the taxi didn't even see what was coming.

Lesson learnt: Life is short guys. Live to the fullest, be happy and make the best out of everything.

Have a great weekend everyone! I'm sure I'll have lots of fun with 12S16 in Batam :)

BYE

~

The lovers cried and the poets dreamed

My dad always tells this same old joke of when he and his university friends were out together for a steak one day at a restaurant, back in their days. The waiter asked how they'd like their steak, and everyone said 'medium' until they got to one guy who suaku-ly announced 'large'. I laugh everytime he tells the joke. Honestly, it never gets old.

Today was a pretty boring day, I was supposed to meet Jiams, Et and Dt for basketball, but at the last minute I remembered I had tuition, damnit :( Was looking forward to finally playing again after so long. So we postponed to next week, but during tuition while I was zoning out again I remembered Batam OCIP is next week.

I can't wait for Batam :) It's going to be my very first overseas trip with my school! I never got the chance back in RSS, and in AHS sec2 we were supposed to have a China trip but it was cancelled because of their H1N1 outbreak D: Batam's not much, I know, and it's only 2D1N, but hey, better than nothing. We'll be going to visit an orphanage, and I hope I don't cry there haha.

Well I probably won't, unless someone starts first. Crying has always been infectious to me, I don't know why. Also, I've been listening to The Jonas Brothers a lot this weekend. I realise I still like them; yes their songs are very repetitive and there's kinda nothing special about them, but some of their songs are still good, like Australia (It's been my favourite JoBros song since I was 12 and it still is), Lovebug, Tonight, Goodnight and Goodbye.

JoBros remind me of my sec1 class so much, how I miss all of us, so young and childish. I honestly can't believe four years has gone by. Like really, four years. Where did all of that time go? Feels like just yesterday when I was sitting on a desk next to the window of a classroom on the fourth floor, singing Rihanna with Dionne and Yiping after class.

~

I miss you.

Morning everyone! I feel sad that I've kinda lost the motivation to blog. I mean, I've had this blog since I was 13 and there's really so many memories I've all just written down here. I would never close my blog, but then I just don't have the urge to blog anymore haha I really don't know why.

In the past I would get home from school and the first thing I would do was to go online and blog all about my day, like what fun things me and my friends got up to in various lessons. Then I'd blog about my after-school outings with classmates, and when I got bored on the weekends I'd just blog as well. 

Well, back then, I actually felt like I had a life I guess. I miss those carefree lower sec days so much :'( Nowadays school takes up most of the day. The only times when I actually feel like I have a life is probably when I go out after sundown on wednesdays to meet Jiams at kembangan, and we just walk around watching people play basketball, or lie on the open ground admiring stars.

Even when I go to town I feel like I can't really enjoy myself; I randomly wonder if there's any undone homework lolol #nerd And anyways, I feel like going to town is getting boring. All the clothes don't really appeal to me, and I feel like it's a waste of time, so I guess now I'm just going to head to town only when I want to buy an album or visit peninsula for band merch.

Last but not least, I know this is really random, but I want to do a bucket list. Don't worry guys, I'm definitely not suicidal or anything like that, I just feel like writing one and there's really no harm in doing it so why not make one?

1. Watch you me at six perform Crash live
2. Go to Belleville, New Jersey, USA
3. Do a Free Hugs Day
4. Visit an african savannah
5. Keep a pet pig
6. See a real farm

I know the list is really short haha but I'll keep adding things when I think of them.

And this is excluding everything I want to do that's related to music, like go to a hundred concerts, hug Gerard Way, watch I.aM.mE live and all that, as well as travel to various parts of the world because I assume that's what everyone wants to do before they depart the world, right?

And I think most teenagers would say they'd want to get wasted, try cocaine, get arrested or some other crazy thing like that, but I don't think I'd want to do any of that. Yeah I know, what a hardcore teenager I am.

Right, so there's that. I'm going to do my homework, there's a ton of it this long weekend. :(

Smile everyone.  -hugs-

BYE

~

I swear this time I mean it

I'm not gonna think too much about anything right now. :)

Been doing homework over the weekend and realising that there's so much I don't understand :( That's a bad thing! And I can't do APGP at all, shit my life hahaha. I'll be doing online homework today, hopefully I can do math modelling.

And later I'll be going for a swim with Jiams and Dt! Miss my girls especially Dt because I haven't seen her in forever :'(

Friday night, me and Jiams went to DBS Arts Centre, which for some weird reason is located inside Raffles Hotel, to watch Oliver Twist, originally written by the great Charles Dickens. I don't know if it can be considered a play or a musical; there was singing but it was only interspersed between dialogue.

Still, the singing was amazing, the harmonies were sick and everything about the play was awesome :) There were only five actors and they took turns playing every role! One guy played Mr. Bumble and Bill Sykes, another played the narrator and Fagin, a girl played Nancy, Charlie Bates and Sally, the good-hearted midwife who helped deliver Oliver. Then there was a boy who played The Artful Dodger, and finally a girl who played Oliver Twist himself.

I love plays, seeing the way characters come alive, and the way few props and minimal actors are used so the rest can be left to your own imagination. The last bit of the play was great! It connected back to the beginning, where Fagin was about to be hung for his thieving crimes. And then it abruptly ended when he finally was executed, if you get what I mean.

All in all it was a great night; me and Jiams got Best Fries Forever and 1-for-1 Starbucks at City Hall (oreo crumble mocha frap yay) and we had TCC for dinner. We camwhored (Raffles Hotel is gorgeous seriously) and went into random pubs just to see if they'd chase us out, which they didn't. One of the pubs was really cool, there was real dancing and a live jazz band and all that.

Hope I get to watch a musical soon :)

~

Out of my reach.

I'm in a rotten mood right now so you probably shouldn't read this. I would talk to someone if I could, instead of blogging about it, but writing helps me so much sometimes. I finally experienced how heartbreak feels like. I never believed in it actually, but now I do. It feels like everything inside of you is crashing, and the worst pain radiates from your chest; it's not sharp, but it aches, and it hurts, and you feel like you can't breathe. Like someone is holding your heart in their fist and squeezing, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. The tears won't come either, so all you can do is sit there and feel the pain inside of you, and it's like it won't ever leave. Maybe it's a silly reason, but right now I could really care less; I just need to rant. All along, this was where it came from; this was what made me want to be better, and what pushed me to do my best. But I guess I'm jinxed, time and time again my hopes just go up, then come crashing down again. I have everything, yet I have nothing. Suddenly I realised this was it; that all my fears were coming true, just like they always do, and I'd been so happy for nothing. I have everything some people dream of, yet losing this breaks my heart. Now I feel like there's nothing left. What's going to happen now? Will things get better? Someone please tell me. And what do I do now? Ugh. I hate this. Emo. ~

Let It Roll

"We've got all the time in the world to get a grip on the fact that we don't last, but right now I wanna watch the tide roll in with my best friends."
- Let It Roll ; All Time Low

This is a song that really hit me the first time I listened to it when I bought So Wrong, It's Right. I'm more of a melody person when I listen to music, but sometimes good lyrics just catch you right in the gut.

The way I see it, this song is about knowing how many things in life will never last, and living is not about trying to preserve everyone and everything around you; it's about making use of your time and cherishing the moment while you still have it.

Most friendships don't last- the ones that go on for decades or even a lifetime are beautiful. There are many people that I've been close to in the past, and we've had some really great times, and you're all amazing people. But we grow apart, and though everyone wishes they could keep their friends forever, it's a sad fact that most friends just come and go.

Let It Roll is about knowing what's in store for you, and being at peace with it. It's about realising that all these things may only ever just be memories in the future to come, and so you make the moments last.

To everyone that's ever been close to me but has somehow drifted away at one point of my life or another, I just wanna say I love you all, and thank you so much for being there for me, always. I have names in my head, but I'm not gonna list them out.

So yeah, that's all I really wanna say. To anyone reading this (yes that means you): make things count, take life as it is.

Have a great weekend :)

~

I don't know how you jumped your way into my heart

CHRISTINE LIANNE TANIA I LOVE YOU <333

Hahaha so everytime any one of you comes to my blog, you'll see this and forgive me for not updating :) How thick-skinned right

Anywayz, I apologise for the lack of updates in like one month plus, I really am sorry! I'm soo busy (okay not really)

Being a JC student... well, I wouldn't call it sucky, but I'd say it's hard to manage studies if you still wanna have a life ahaha :) I miss AHS a loooot, and I'm still a little sad that I couldn't get into a better college, but  hey, no use crying over spilt milk.

I actually really miss the familarity of AHS; you don't just go there almost everyday for four years and leave after that not feeling anything for it. I miss all my girlfriends and the feeling of knowing nearly every face, if not name, that you pass in school. I even miss the canteen food!

Oh but the only thing I don't miss about AHS is the uniform. Drop-dead ugly! TPJC's uniform is wayyy better :)

Back to the present, life in TPJC is not bad. I didn't get a particularly friendly bunch of teachers; nearly all my teachers are a lot older than we are, sooo there's dai4 gou1. I've also yet to get used to replacing 'form teacher' with 'civics tutor', 'classroom' with 'homeroom', 'class' with 'civics group', 'school' with 'college' and the like. It's annoying! :/

I really like 12S16 though, they're a good bunch of people :) They're fun and friendly! Only thing I'm sad about is that I haven't met anyone whose shares a really similar taste in music with me, and music is a really big part of my life. But it's all still cool.

Anyway, so last week there was Good Friday, which meant no school on Friday! So Lianne, Tania and I had a sleepover at L's house on thursday :) No alcohol, no gambling, just a movie, snacks and L's comfy queen-sized bed

Before that, we had dinner at the foodcourt in Tampines Mall, and then we bought Koi and took a bus to L's house. We camwhored and watched the movie Fame till about 4am, then lay there in the dark and talked till we fell asleep :)

We woke up to Arizona by Hey Monday from Lianne's blackberry, which was also our alarm while we were holidaying with the rest in Taiwan! Snoozed till about 9.30am, then we took turns to wash up.

Breakfast was japalang a lot of things; there was sushi and coffee, and food that her mom bought for us like chee cheong fun, glutinous rice, yam something. Hahaha I know, the food doesn't match at all!

After breakfast we watched The Princess & The Frog on Disney Channel (no laughing) and when it ended, we finally got started on our homework! Around 5pm, we finished and got ready to go to town :) I think it took us about 1 and a half hour to get ready! Girls will be girls -shakes head-

Tania and I had to borrow Lianne's clothes and shoes because we didn't bring anything appropriate to wear to town, it was kinda funny

We only spent about two hours at town, excluding travelling time. Didn't buy anything except bread to eat! Ohoh and I finally got a Polaroid with a hot model at A&F ;) I think it's their rule to put the girl's hand around their waist, and omg his skin was so smooth and warm hahaha okay unnecessary info!

So after that we went home :)

Shopping nowadays kinda feels boring to me; everything everywhere is pretty much the same now. There's a lot of things I want to buy but I don't know where to look for them, and anyway my CAs are coming up!

Lastly, I joined a band! It's kind of hard to explain how I got to know them, but to cut a long story short, the drummer is an acquaintance of mine and he invited me to join and play keyboard.

Truth be told, I haven't had much experience in being in bands as compared to them, and there's a sense of insecurity because I feel unnecessary and like I might weigh the band down, harshly put :/

But I do have the passion for making music, and I'm currently thinking of buying a bass guitar because I'd love to pick up bass, I think it's an amazing instrument and I've always been fascinated by it :)

So aight ladies and gents, that's about it for now, I really need to get some sleep cause there's school tomorrow! Monday bluez

BYE

~

And we're all soldiers tonight.

I really shouldn't be listening to The Cab on the day they just had a concert here and I didn't get to go... But well, I'm actually not that depressed about not going. I love them but I only know Symphony Soldier, so it would be a waste to go not knowing anything about their first album and their three EPs. 

Anyways, I'm home from a 2d1N TPJC JC1 camp! :) It was really fun, sometimes being tired got the better of us and we all looked bored, but it can't be helped. The camp was great though, I definitely do not regret going. 

Day 1 was mainly making up cheers, learning Hawk House cheers, learning mass dance, playing inter-house games and... yeah, games in general. Haha my favourite was probably the one where we played in threes. Kinda hard to explain here, but it was funny and exciting. I love mass dance too :) I love dancing, even if I can't dance!

At night we got some time to bathe. Me and a few other girls used the taps to shampoo and wash our hair omg hahaha. I didn't really like the camp food :/ our usual canteen food is much nicer. Oh and my class loved the field, we went there just to sit and chat after dinner, and we were all like, let's just sleep here LOL but we weren't allowed to anyway. 

Bunk was shared with the girls from 12A06, also from Hawk House. We were told to be up by 6.30am, and me and a few others woke up at 5am to bathe. We thought we were geniuses but when we woke up, there were already other people strolling along the corridors with towels over their shoulders ._.

We had amazing race today, we visited a total of four stations- one at simei, one at esplanade and the other two at kallang leisure park I think. We set off in the morning, lunch was at KFC's and we made it back to school around 3. 

A few rehearsals and a change of clothes later, it was our turn to perform for Soul Night. I was so damn nervous! I tried my best to look like I was having fun, but it was so much easier during rehearsals with only about 50+ people seated in the spacious auditorium. This real thing was nerve-wracking. The auditorium was soo packed!

I thought we did okay, but later we received feedback that we couldn't really be heard :( Well, at least we kinda had fun hahaha. It was a good experience performing for Soul Night. Later we got to enjoy the rest of Soul Night as spectators, and since I didn't have to worry about preserving my voice for the background harmonies, I went all out!

Me and Khaliesah were screaming our lungs out HAHA. I have two favourite performances- one is of a three-man band that played All The Small Things by Blink-182 and Holiday by Green Day, the other is a solo guy who sang Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute while playing on the piano. 

I was totally rocking out to the rock band's performance; it ain't everyday that you get an experience like that. Soul Night was definitely an amazing part of the camp. 

After we were dismissed 12S16 went to open plaza at Tampines Mall to hang. We bought food to eat there and just played games. I lost at one game and had to do a forfeit with another guy from another TPJC group that was also hanging at open plaza; we kind of did a stupid dance hahaha. 

We had two awesome CGLs, Jason and Khalijah. Me, Shijia and Weiqiang secretly went to buy yogurt for them on behalf of the class :) they're really great, it's not easy being a student leader and I think they were amazingly patient with us. 

The night was really fun, I'm actually proud of our class. It's only March and we're already pretty bonded. #12S16 woooo <3

~

Morning everyone! I'm currently at a bus stoo waiting for Xuemin so we can walk into school together. (that sounds lame) Anyway, I'm soooooo sorry I haven't updated in like ages! And if you remember, I did warn you guys that I might be too busy to update regularly once JC started! ;) I really miss my carefree life during the holidays. Actually, JC life isn't that bad, but maybe it's because it's only March. Other than very little free time to do much other than homework, it's pretty okay. Did I mention I'm in the guitar ensemble? It's actually pretty fun, oh and my class is the bomb. They're awesome :) I had a 2D1N guitar camp friday to saturday. I think overall it was okay. I didn't like night games, but I did enjoy watching movies hahaha and amazing race on saturday. I have another camp coming up, it's for J1s and I hope it'll be loads of fun! My class is performing for Soul Night; I shan't say what we're gonna be doing here, but we'll be singing. We got through auditions, 12 were selected out of 40, so that's great! Alright, Xm is here, gotta go! BYE ~

Nothing Personal.

Sigh. And I'm sorry I haven't really blogged in so long except for that post on the dream I had last week or so.

Tampines Junior College is okay I guess. The people are nice, I've made some friends already and everyone is generally friendly. I like my OG, but somehow I feel like I can't really click with them. Different sense of humour. I seldom find people with the same sense of humour as me.

This week passed really slowly, in my opinion. It's finally Friday! :D We've been having sample lectures all week. I take GP, PW, H1 physics, H2 chemistry, math and economics. The lecturers are good, me gusto. :)

What I find really funny is how we have lectures in either the auditorium or a lecture theatre, where the desks are pulled open, so that means they're all really small, and that in turn means that there is a higher tendency of pencil cases crashing to the floor.

The first time around monday, during one of our lectures, the lecturer said something along the lines of "So this is what we'll be covering this year," and then someone's pencil case crashed to the floor.

I know it was all purely coincidental, but it was sooo funny! I had this dumb half-smile on my face when that happened and was trying so hard not to laugh.

Oh and during another one of our lectures, Huiyun spotted the band badges on my bag. I have three badges on my bag, one of MCR, one of All Time Low and one of Mayday Parade. She inspected the badges one by one, and after that told me she'd never heard of any of the bands.

I stared at her and asked, "Then what do you listen to?" And somehow she found my question extremely funny, and burst out into laughter in the quiet lecture theatre. Quite a few heads turned hahhaha

Anyway, for my cca choices, I put guitar ensemble first, followed by gavel club, then netball. But I don't think I want to join netball anymore; I'm afraid of getting skin problems and possibly dry hair from all the training under the sun.

Me, Maria and her friend Caroline also wanted to join modern dance initially, but we were quite put off after watching the modern dance club's performance during CCA Exhibition on wednesday. I like the guys' part, with all the finger tutting and a bit of dougie-ing, but the girls' part looked a bit slutty to me.

Maybe I'm just conservative, but ain't no way I'm sticking my butt out and wiggling it in front of 800 students, let alone teachers and possibly parents. Neither do I want to wear translucent black stockings and mini shorts for entertainment haha.

So I guess the dancing wasn't really what I expected. Thought it'd be more contemporary or maybe street-ish but it looked like a kpop dance or something.

Anywayz, today I brought my basketball to school because Valerie asked me to. We were gonna play bball during our free periods. PE was first thing in the morning. It was killer, I tell ya.

This school really takes PE lessons very seriously. We did three rounds around the field (equivalent to 800m I think), sit-ups, push-ups, crunches and lots of stretching. How I dread the 2.4km Napfa run.

After PE was a free period. I played basketball with Valerie, Alvita and Florence, and after Math (which was crazy, I couldn't process anything) I bumped into Xuemin and we played a bit of ball before going to the library.

Omg, being in the library in her was hilarious. There were rooms at the back of the library for lessons and J2 studying, and Xuemin kept walking past this window where this guy was studying, just to annoy him. And we just kept laughing at the funniest and most random things possible. HAHAHA

Guitar auditions after that with Xuemin and Yiying. We at first entered a room full of people, then a senior divided us into those who had music history and those who didn't know anything about playing the guitar.

Me, Xuemin and Yiying were the only girls among the 11 who were in the first group :/ My audition lasted like one minute! It was pretty okay and I really really hope I get into guitar ensemble because I have completely no idea what I'd join otherwise.

BYE

~

H-E-Double hockey sticks

(THIS POST WAS MEANT TO BE POSTED YESTERDAY, 9TH FEB.)

Okay something mega ultra uber embarrassing happened just now, I met Lifang and Zhenying for dinner (Ahhhh missed them so much I'm so glad I finally got to meet up with them!) and we went to Wendy's.

And while we were almost done eating, I ate some of Lifang's baked potato skin and she was very disgusted. I mean, what's wrong? LOL potato skin is nutritious and tasty!

Anyway, so I asked if I should ask one of the Wendy's staff if their baked potato skin was edible, and at first they didn't think I was serious about asking hahaha. Zhenying pushed me to go, and I went to ask this lady at the counter. She said 'huh?' and her male colleague answered for her. He said "Yes, it's edible! We scrubbed it!"
And while saying it, he did this reaaaally funny face, pretending to hold a potato in one hand, and doing the scrubbing action with it. I had to laugh. And when I went back to my seat, I repeated the whole conversation to Lifang who didn't catch it (while Zhenying heard and saw everything and was laughing away) and I even imitated his facial expression.

Then when I turned back after I'd finished talking, I caught him at the exact second when he was bursting into laughter! He was laughing at my facial expression and I could tell that he'd heard everything and saw me repeating the whole conversation omgomgomg the mortification.
I seriously considered running to the toilet to hide for a few minutes because it was just sooo embarrassing!!!
I thought he wasn't looking T____T Never going back to Wendy's again. (Actually I know I'll probably go back soon cause the food isn't half-bad) Hope he doesn't recognise me the next time I go back. Ahhhhhh. I must've looked like an idiot imitating him LOL
And Zhenying said she saw him telling his other colleagues about the incident. Die. I will become the secret staff joke of Wendy's. And... the guy was kinda cute. He had a really nice smile and eyes and... Yeah, that's not the point. Point is, I kept rushing Lifang to finish her food so we could get out of there hahaha. My face and ears were burning red.
~

Thanks for the memories

I had this super creepy dream last night, it started off with me & Christine in my living room, and we were listening to The Black Parade, and it was Cancer playing. I remember the song so loud and clear in my dream. Then after Cancer finished, I wondered what song was gonna come up next, Disenchanted or I Don't Love You (but in real life, it's actually neither, it's Mama) And just then, this quiet girl's voice came on the speakers: "This next song is a song that I like a lot." I was shocked because nothing like that happens on the album, and me and Christine exchanged glances. Suddenly Face Down by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus came on! I was like what's going on? Christine took the remote and lowered the volume, but the song remained the same volume. We plugged out the stereo, but still the thing kept playing! We thought we must have taken out the wrong switch, so we went around plugging out everything we could find, all the wires, but as we were doing it, the song just kept playing and it was even becoming louder! Then somehow I realised it was a dream, and quickly woke up. That always happens to me when I have nightmares. Anyway, it still felt scary. Face Down is actually a song about an abusive relationship, and how the girl, broken and pained, manages to get the courage to break it off with him. The coincidence is way too scary :/ ~

Remember when I bought you flowers, and you left them out to die?

I apologise for my late of updating! So I'm at home now, not feeling too well, and yeah the other J1s from tpjc are at sentosa now haha. I think tpjc is okay-ish, maybe it'll take time for me to get used to it. But two years are gonna fly by, right? :)

I'm quite homesick, and by homesick I'm talking about AHS :( I knew I'd miss it when I left, but now that I'm gone, I miss it soooo much. I guess I kinda took that feeling of familiarity there for granted. The only thing I don't miss about it is definitely the uniform. Tpjc's uniform is wayyyy nicer hahaha.

I'm listening to The Cab as I write; never thought alternative rock could feel so soothing. Everything's changing but my music library doesn't. I'm so apprehensive about this whole new-school thing. Can't remember how I felt about entering primary school and secondary school.

Why can't secondary school be 6 years long? D: Primary was 6 years, sec sch is 4 years and JC is 2 years.  Sighhhhh.

I don't think I'm making much sense... I just logged on for the sake of updating. Checked my stats and they've been falling :( I can't blame you guys either, anyway I won't be updating that frequently anymore, as much as I'd like to. Gonna be busy busy busy!

Life sucks, and then you die. Ahaha.

BYE

~